“If you can’t even say it—” I started.
“I care about you,” he quickly said. “I like you. More than just a friend, and a hell of a lot more than I should.” Zander heaved out a sigh, shaking his head gently as he looked ahead of us, at the pitch-black road. We were still outside of Cypress, so there were no streetlights, no sidewalks, nothing. “And I know you don’t feel the same way. I know you look at me as someone who’s loyal to your father, but—”
I reached over and did something I wasn’t expecting to. Neither was he, for he tensed up the second it happened. I set a hand on his. I still had my gloves on, so it wasn’t like I was really touching him, but I liked to think the gesture meant something all the same.
And, judging by Zander’s reaction, it meant something to him, too.
Keeping my hand on him, I whispered, “I thought my father chose you so you could flirt with me, get me to fall for you, and tell my father all my secrets. I’m glad I was wrong.” And then I did something else I’d probably come to regret later—or immediately after, in ten seconds.
I leaned over the center console of the car and placed a kiss on his cheek. Just a soft peck. It was over before it even began, and my lips felt weird after. Brushing up against his skin, feeling his warmth, much like I’d felt Ezekiel’s.
I didn’t kiss guys on the cheek. Ignoring the fact that I didn’t really enjoy touching in general, kissing someone on the cheek was an entirely soft and feminine gesture. So not me.
When it was done, and I was safely back in my own seat, my lips not touching anything, I pulled my hand off his, lest I try doing something else. Maybe it was stupid, but I felt closer to Zander now than I ever had.
Ugh, this was asking for trouble.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” Zander said. That was a first.
“Don’t say anything. Just drive me home.” Just because we’d shared a little moment didn’t change the fact that nothing could ever happen between us. If something did happen, my father would retaliate. I didn’t see him letting me be in a relationship with one of his men; no, I was pretty sure he’d hurt either me or Zander—and that was something I didn’t want.
Me? I could take it, but I didn’t know whether I could take Zander getting hurt because of me. In fact, I think it might hurt me the most.
I think it’d hurt me a whole lot.