I knock hard, my fist pounding against the wood, but after a few seconds, there’s no response. No movement. Nothing. I’m about to hammer again and then barge in when I hear a sniff, so I frown and listen closer, my heart thumping.
Is she… crying?
I ache as I hear another snuffle, this time softer and I know that sound.
I take a step back, frowning and looking down at my shaking hands, and then I reach out and take the handle, turning it slowly, and I step inside.
*
I sense Mr Ledger’s presence as he enters, and I pull my legs up high, tucking them into my chest as I lay on my side, my head on my pillow, my eyes cast out across the valley as tears tumble down my cheek.
He doesn’t say anything as he draws near, and I breathe in and out steadily until at last, I feel the weight of his body as he sits down on the foot of my bed.
Neither of us speaks.
After a few minutes, I risk a glance in his direction and he’s not looking at me, his eyes are downcast, his hands in his lap. When he sees me he places his palm on my ankle through the covers, and he squeezes me softly and smiles kindly.
‘She died last year,’ I say, snuffling still. ‘Just as Flick and I started at UCLA.’
‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ he says.
‘Dad didn’t take it well,’ I whisper. ‘He’d only just retired. It all happened so fast.’
Mr Ledger nods, squeezing me again.
‘Flick and I looked after each other when it happened. Dad… dad couldn’t do much.’
He smiles, nodding softly. ‘She seems kind, just like you,’ he says.
I blush as goosebumps spread down from my head at his words. ‘Thank you.’
‘Lucy passed quickly,’ he says. ‘Three weeks and she was gone. I haven’t been the best father since then.’
I smile. ‘They adore you.’
‘Harper maybe, Willow sometimes,’ he says. ‘But Thea-‘
‘She’ll come around,’ I say.
‘She lost the most,’ he says. ‘She had her the longest.’
‘She has all of you too.’
He looks at me and smiles, then he nods and withdraws his hand, standing back up and turning away toward the door. As he reaches the halfway point between me and the door, I speak.
‘I er,’ I start, my chest tightening. ‘I have a date.’
He stops. He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t speak.
I gulp. ‘His erm, his name is Kyle.’
Still, he says nothing, but I watch as his fist curls.
‘It’s tomorrow,’ I continue. ‘He’s picking me up from here… at six.’
Mr Ledger unfurls his fist slowly and then wipes his fingers against his pants, before resuming his slow walk to the door.
‘I meant what I said earlier,’ I say, calling out to him. ‘I am yours, to do with as you wish.’