ChapterTen
It felt symbolic, passing over the diaper bag to her mother’s shoulders, as though, with this plush blue diaper bag filled with lotions, diapers, and wipes, Mallory handed over the official duties of mothering Zach. In Elsa’s arms, Zach looked tired, his cheeks plump and sagging. It was nearing seven at night and the poor kid had been awake much too long, parading past nap time without a care in the world. They would probably all pay for it the next day when the terrible twos would fully reveal themselves.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Mallory asked, clasping her hands together.
Elsa shook her head. “Bruce and I are exhausted. The minute Zach hits the hay, we’ll follow suit.”
“Hey, Mall! Are you coming?” Alyssa hollered from further down the dock. Maggie stood to her left as her dark curls caught in the early evening wind.
Behind Elsa, Janine carried Lucy in her arms. Her mouth stretched into a wide yawn as she adjusted Lucy’s little sunhat.
“Are you on grandmother duty, too?” Janine asked Elsa, her smile crooked.
“Might as well call us The Golden Girls,” Elsa joked.
“Mom! You’d tell me if this wasn’t okay?” Mallory demanded a second time.
Elsa bent her head. “Are you trying to get out of socializing? You can tell me that. I’ll make up some excuse.”
Mallory’s stomach flipped over. Her eyes caught Alyssa and Maggie, who’d bent their heads low to whisper. Apparently, they were headed toward a beach bonfire party, which featured all the younger and more handsome sailors from the Round the Islander Race, plus their islander friends. It had been years since Mallory had attended that bonfire party, long before the day she’d become a diaper-changing, bedtime-making single mother.
“Go!” Elsa urged. “You might regret it if you don’t.”
Mallory kissed Zach’s cheek a final time and scampered down the dock to meet her step-cousins. Alyssa roared with happiness, throwing her slender arms around Mallory’s neck.
“I was just telling Maggie about your little rendezvous with that handsome guy from the docks the other day.”
Mallory’s cheeks burned. In truth, for hours and hours that afternoon, she’d caught herself hunting for Brodie on the docks. Her eyes had scanned, catching every dark-haired, six-foot-one guy, and making her panic.
“Sorry that Alyssa can’t keep a secret,” Maggie teased. “I’ve tried and failed to teach her. She’s a lost cause.”
“He’ll totally be at this party,” Alyssa continued.
“I don’t know,” Mallory offered. “He said he has a lot of responsibilities in his family. Maybe something came up.”
“Why don’t you text him?” Alyssa sounded flippant and confident, as though she paraded through her life without a care in the world.
Mallory stuttered, trying to find a way to describe just how frightened she was to do something like that without actually coming off as really lame.
“Leave her alone, Alyssa. Not everyone is so bullheaded with their lives,” Maggie countered.
Mallory cast Maggie a look of relief. Within a split second, Alyssa had come up with another topic of conversation, one that had nothing at all to do with Mallory’s love life. Mallory was momentarily grateful to her previous self for not having told anyone about the passionate kiss she and Brodie had shared. If she and Brodie never spoke again, she could use that memory as something to return to, a moment in time when everything in her life had, for a very brief second, felt perfect. She wouldn’t taint the memory by telling anyone.
Halfway to the party, they witnessed a huge bonfire in the distance, burning orange and thrashing violently against the blue evening sky. Mallory cast her head back, staring up at the twinkling stars and listening to the rush of the waves. After two years of sleepless nights and nursing and diaper changes, this particular magic seemed outside of time. She was so ready for it.
When they reached the party, Cole burst up from the large group nearest the fire, waving a domestic beer in his hand. He hugged Mallory first, then Alyssa and Maggie.
“There he is! Third place finisher!” Alyssa hollered, obviously grateful to be tied to one of the fastest sailors on the island.
Cole laughed, his eyes glowing with fatigue. “It was a hard one. Gasbarro pushed me harder than I’ve ever been pushed.”
A speaker system was set up about fifteen feet from the bonfire, behind which a DJ tore through tracks, easing from “Love Don’t Cost A Thing” to “I Want It That Way,” which Alyssa called an “interesting transition” with only the slightest hint of disdain. Around the bonfire, islanders and those “in the know” hovered and danced, twisting around one another with goofy smiles. Cole handed Mallory a beer, and she cracked it open and sipped, grateful for the chill of the liquid even if the taste reminded her of bad bread.
As Alyssa shifted her hips and lifted her beer to the sky, she howled for Mallory and Maggie to join her. Maggie leaped in, no beer needed, her fingers fluttering toward the sky. It took Mallory another few sips before she forced herself in. The beat of the music flowed through her, and she slowly took charge. Her eyes closed as she tossed her head back so that her hair fluttered toward the small of her back. It had been ages since she’d allowed herself the cost of a haircut, ages since she’d cared to do anything at all to her appearance that wasn’t purely sensical. Maybe she needed to take a page out of her sister’s or Alyssa’s life plan and take charge of herself. Maybe then, the world would call her name.
It seemed typical for Mallory’s life that the minute she dropped into the music, someone was there to pull her out again.
“Mallory?” His voice rang out through the card, genuinely pleased.