There was no remorse in him. No fear—just raw determination.
“Are you sure about that? Because the high fae I met…they were no joke.” Just the reminder of the blond and the redhead, especially when he’d grabbed my head and thrust himself right into my mind…
“I know, but it’s them,” he said, so sure he left no room for doubt. “It’s not going to be easy but not impossible, either. I just need you to keep that to yourself, Teddybear. It’s very important that you do.”
“Of course,” I said, shaking my head. “I won’t say a word to anyone, I promise.”
He kissed my temple and rested his chin on the top of my head, never loosening his arms around me, as if he was trying to make sure I wouldn’t disappear.
I wanted to say so much more, ask him more questions, get to know him a little better—where he came from, where his pack was, if he had any other family besides Derek. But my tongue was tied, and I couldn’t bring myself to make a sound. I just closed my eyes and felt the heat of him, his heart beating steady in his chest under my palm. For now, that was enough.
Derek kept on moving from one side of the road to the other, and Dominic didn’t say anything else until he walked back across and disappeared behind the trees. The new day had turned the sky grey already, but it was still too dark to see anything clearly.
And eventually, Dominic spoke again.
“I’ve loved you since the day I met you and a little more every day since.” His voice was thick, rough, like it was coming straight from his very soul.
My skin tingled. I held my breath, and my heart didn’t beat for the longest second because all of me wanted to make the moment last for as long as it possibly could.
I wanted to tell him, too. I wanted him to know exactly what it was like for me, how much he meant to me, how it felt when I was in his arms. In that container, when the high fae said they had him, too, I thought I would lose my mind. If I’d known anything at all, any password or code, even the whole project, I’d have told them without hesitation, and I wouldn’t have regretted it.
Despite what it was like between us before, I always knew I adored Dominic Dane. But I never realized just how much I loved him until that moment. Until I was willing to lay down my life for his without a second thought.
But something stopped me. A lump had formed in my throat, and I couldn’t get past it. It was almost as if something was keeping my mouth shut by force. All I could do was hold onto him and let my tears fall silently.
“You’re going to be okay, Teddybear,” he whispered. “You’re going to be just fine because I won’t be there with you.”
Stabs at my gut, chest, mind. I gripped his shirt tightly, hoping to release some of the pain. It didn’t work.
“Why?” I breathed, even though I already knew the answer.
“Because this is my purpose. I swore to find those men and I will not stop until I do. I can’t belong to anyone until that happens, even though I’m already yours, even when I’m not there.”
God, it felt like all my insides were breaking to pieces. He was mine, but he wouldn’t be there with me. That wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even close to enough.
I shook my head, furiously. “We can still see each other. We don’t have to…” what? my own mind asked me. We didn’t have to what?
Kiss? Touch? Love each other?
“I can’t,” he whispered, and I could have sworn his voice broke. He hurt just as much as me, if the way he held me was any indication. “I can’t take it. The more time I spend with you, the more my other half loses sight of my purpose. It took me two days to lose control. Imagine what two more could do. I owe it to my family, Teddybear. I owe it to my brother.” He nodded his head across the street, at Derek, slamming his bat on a half-broken tree trunk with all his strength.
“I understand,” I choked, and I think a big part of me died right there.
Now I knew why my instincts had warned me against telling him the truth, why my own body had turned against me. It was better that he didn’t know. It would be easier for him to think that I would be okay.
After all, that mattered much more than how I felt—that he was okay.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For everything.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad we ended up here. And you’re right, I’m going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, too.” If he could hear the lie in my voice, he didn’t comment. “Just promise me one thing, Dominic. No matter what happens, don’t forget about me, okay?”
His jaws clenched and he pulled me up until we were chest to chest. We held onto each other like two teenagers, and though it was the most painful moment of my life, it was the most beautiful, too. Because I felt it all in his hands, his arms, the way his heart hammered in his chest. I felt how much I meant to him, and I was going to always have that, no matter what. Nothing and nobody was ever going to take that from me.
Eventually, three large cars found us hiding in each other’s arms, Derek still assaulting tree trunks with his bat. We had to let go of one another, but it was okay. When we went back to our lives, nothing was ever going to be the same, but that was the point of life, what I’d always believe in, anyway. We were meant to change. We were never meant to be stuck in the same place forever. Some changes are painful, some easy as a breeze, but they’re good for the soul. They’re good for growing up.
So, I held hope close to my heart, and I let go of Dominic, set both him and myself free from any expectations. We both had our lives to live, and just because our paths couldn’t meet right now, it didn’t mean they never would.
Because even though I wouldn’t be there for him, either, I would still be his.
—THE END