CHAPTER8
Chance
What the actual fuck?
I mean it, what the fuck? Even as I tear the house apart looking for her, throwing furniture, ripping doors off their hinges, tossing beds and tables, I can tell she’s gone.
It’s emptier than it was when I left.
And it’s not a lack of things, it’s a lack of…her.
“Sophia?”
Part of me wonders if she could have gone out for a walk, but I know that’s not the case. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know. It’s like there’s some invisible thread binding me to her and right now it’s stretched long. So long it might just break.
I could lose her.
Fuck. I can’t lose her. I’ll die, maybe not physically, not for a while, but there won’t be any more of me left inside the hollow shell that’s left behind. Any hope I had of finding happiness is gone without her.
“Sophia? Where the fuck are you?”
My voice is hoarse with emotions I had no idea I knew how to feel. All those combat tours, I thought they’d numbed me. Apparently not.
Fuck. I need to get a hold of myself. I need to figure this out. She’s gone, and not gone out but gone away. Which means…
She knows about the other road. Fuck! Why did I keep it from her? Why did I think I could get away with that and she’d never find out. Of course she’s fucking pissed, I would be in her position.
But did she find it herself, or…?
Without finishing the thought, I’m out and heading for the garage where I keep my bike. If she left by herself, she took my bike or she left on foot. Either way, I know where she’s headed and I have to get there right now.
The fucking hotel.
Slamming the shutters on the garage open, I see my bike still sitting there and my heart surges with both relief and fear. If she’s on foot, I have a chance of catching her and making all this right. But I don’t like the idea of her being out there alone, scrambling up that dirt path, scared and feeling betrayed.
Hold on, baby, I’m coming.
Sophia
“Nothing before then?”Tor leans on the counter, making the sales clerk pull back.
“N—no. Sorry. Everything else is…booked.” He visibly gulps, and I’m surprised he doesn’t add please don’t hurt me.
Poor guy. This is hardly his fault.
“You two really are a couple of cavemen, aren’t you? Just pay the guy and we’ll wait for our flight. Jeez.” I lock eyes with the man behind the counter. “Sorry about these two.”
He nods like I’m offering him a lifeline, but before he can thank me I’m already turning away, heading for the departure lounge. None of this even means anything to me. I’m numb, like I no longer have any emotions left to give besides irritation.
We stopped by the hotel on our way and picked up my luggage, so at least I’m half decent, dressed in a pair of shorts and a strappy top. The thought of what I did last night, all the things I did…
I’m so conflicted about everything in my entire life right now.
I can’t decide whether I’m ashamed I gave myself so easily to a man who possibly care about me, or whether I’m glad I shared that moment with him. After all, was what he did so bad? Wanting to keep me there? It’s not like I didn’t want to stay.
“We’re going to go grab a bite to eat. You wanna join?” Cyrus’s voice comes from beside me, but I don’t even turn.
“You two go ahead. I’m not hungry.”
“We’ll bring you something,” Tor says.
“I said I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t care. You’ve got to eat. We’ll bring you something. You want Cyrus to stay with you?”