"Maybe less," he admits. "Point is, what they think hasn't ever had a place in your life or mine before and it doesn't have a place now. What happens between us is between us. They can choke on a bag of dicks for all I can. You are not less than they are, Jessa. I won't have you thinking you are."
"Okay," I agree quietly. He's got enough to worry about. I don't want him stressing out about this too. If he doesn't care what they think, I'm not going to care either. We've already lost too much time worrying about what everyone else will think.
Crap.
"What about Cyrus?" I ask, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. "You need your friends right now. I'm so worried he's going to be pissed about us."
"He probably will be," Jax agrees, pulling me closer. "But he loves you. Hell, he loves my crabby ass too. He'll get over it sooner or later."
"I don't want to hide it from him."
"Good because we aren't hiding it from him. My family had enough secrets," he says, his voice soft, strained. "I'll be damned if we let them poison your family too."
My heart aches in protest of his pain. I wrap my arms around him the best I can, trying to comfort him. "Your dad didn't deserve you. If you want to burn his company down, I'll bring the matches."
"Yeah?" He chuckles at me. "I'll keep that in mind."
"I'm proud of you."
He smiles at me.
"I'm serious! You're pretty amazing at this being in charge thing."
"Yeah?" He cocks a brow at me, smirking. "Glad you think so, baby. Because once I get you out of those clothes, I plan to be real bossy."
"Promises, promises."
He smacks me on the ass, making me squeal.
Ruby doesn't even budge. I swear, she could sleep through the apocalypse.
"Behave," Jax growls. "I'm already trying real hard not to take you to your room and fuck you into next week."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because that benefit won't last forever. Cyrus and Gwen will be home sooner or later." He grimaces. "The way they argue, I'm guessing sooner rather than later."
"They love each other," I murmur.
"I know. They don't."
"They know, they're just not done fighting it yet." When they do finally give up, I think they'll be happy together. They're a lot alike even if they hate to admit it. They both fight hard and love harder.
"Are you done fighting it, rabbit?"
"So done," I whisper, tracing his bottom lip again.
"Good. Spend the night with me tomorrow."
"You want me to spend the night with you?" I frown as a thought occurs. "I don't even know where you live now."
"Agree to spend the night with me and I'll show you," he says, nipping the pad of my finger. "I'll share the covers with you."
"I won't share," I warn him. "I like stealing all of them."
"You'll share with me."
"I love you, but I'll still leave you to freeze to death while I burrito my way through the night."
"Jesus," he whispers, his voice gritty. "Say that again."
My brows furrow in confusion and then I realize what I said. "Oh, um…"
Before I can even blink, Ruby is on the floor beside me and I'm on my back with a very pissed off, growly man looming over me. I gape up at him, shocked that someone as big as him can move as fast as he can.
"Don't you even think about taking it back," he growls at me, the words rumbling from his lips like thunder in the distance. The flash of vulnerability in his mocha eyes wrecks me.
"Never," I whisper. "I love you, Jax. I've always loved you."
"Jesus," he whispers again, his head tipping forward. The look on his face sends tears into my eyes. It's so joyous, so unbelieving. That breaks my heart and heals it in the same breath. That he doesn't know how deserving he is of love is not okay. That having my love makes him so happy makes me love him even more.
"I love you," I whisper again. And then again.
He growls again, and then his lips are on mine. He kisses me hard and deep and long. Until we're both gasping for breath. Somehow, my legs end up around his waist. His hand ends up inside my shirt.
My second orgasm of the night is just as good as the first one…better, even.
"From the moment I met you, rabbit," he whispers when it's over, tucking me carefully back into his arms. "That's how long I've loved you."
"Jax," I whisper, listening to the steady thrum of his heart beneath my ear.
"It's true."
I fall asleep with a smile on my face and his arms wrapped securely around me.