Chapter twelve
I stood in the shower, letting the hot water rain over my body, washinghimoff my skin. Over the years, there had been threats to the palace. My brother and I had been sent to the tunnels and protected by guards. There had been moments when we wouldn’t hear from my father for days at a time and had no idea if he was okay. I’d stood at the edge of my mother’s bed as a fourteen-year-old girl and listened as she’d told me I’d be going through the rest of my life without her. But I had never felt more helpless than I did just now.
A mess of emotions tore through me like claws of a beast roaring to be set free. I ran my fingers through my wet hair, massaging shampoo onto my scalp as I closed my eyes. I wanted to disappear down the drain with the soapy foam running down my body. My legs were shaking.My insides were a mess.
I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a scream, giving in to the war raging inside of me. “I hate you, Chandler Carmichael.”
I hated him for keeping me here without telling me why.
I hated him for taking my willpower away from me as though taking things was his birthright.
I hated myself for the way that his brutality sent sparks of heat skittering across my skin.
He was bigger than me, stronger than me, and crueler than me. I couldn’t have fought him if I’d tried. But Ididn’ttry. For some dark, unknown reason, I let him take control of me. And that was what terrified me the most.
I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and the soap from my body, then stood under the calming warmth of the water until I was no longer trembling.
Chandler Carmichael was danger cloaked in beauty, and if I was going to survive him, I needed to pull myself together.