This was it.
This was my escape.
I closed my eyes and sank down into the water. The crying stopped. Time stilled. I was weightless. I felt every cell, nerve, and muscle. Every hair on my body tingled at the root, and every drop of blood rushed through my veins with a vengeance. It was all so intense. I was hyperaware ofeverything. Was this how Lincoln felt when he got high? My heartbeat rushed and rushed until I thought it would burst through my ribcage.
Then it all slowed down. My mind drifted into peacefulness. All the thoughts that were roaring in my head began to quiet. Inky black fog settled around me, closing in and whispering threats of destroying what little light remained.
I was calm.
And then strong arms were under me, lifting me, pulling me close to a hard chest.
My eyes flew open as I gasped for air.
No.
I kicked and tried to scream but nothing came out.
Grey had me. He carried my naked body from the bathroom to the bedroom, then gently laid me on the bed. The cold air on my bare skin made me shiver, so he pulled the comforter on top of me. His white dress shirt was soaked. His face was pale, and his blue eyes were dark as night.
He ran a hand through his hair, turning the sandy blond locks into a chaotic mess. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
That it wouldn’t matter if I died.For real this time. That I just wanted to escape.
He stood up straight at the foot of the bed. “Jesus fucking Christ.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
I looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since we were in that circular room. His white button-up stretched and pulled over his broad chest. The sleeves were rolled up his forearms to just below his elbows. His chest rose and fell with heavy pants. A muscle in his chiseled jawline twitched as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. His hair was a disheveled mess, out of place with his designer clothes and smooth skin, but it looked good that way. His tongue darted out to wet his full lips as he watched me take him in. He looked at me the way someone looked at you after they’d forgotten your birthday or found out your dog died.I’m sorry, his eyes said.
Would it really be so bad to let myself accept this fate? To wander around this place with its fancy kitchens and libraries? To belong to a man whose looks rivaled the gods? To soak in lavender baths and return Mrs. McTavish’s warm smile?
Yes. It would be the worst.Because accepting this fate meant rejecting another one that I wasn’t ready to let go of just yet.
The fact that I even considered it made my heart cinch. More tears came freely, streaming down my face. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to be alive. Why couldn’t he just have let me go?
As if I’d spoken my thoughts out loud, Grey leaned over and swept the hair from my forehead. “Don’t ever do that to me again, sweet girl.” His eyes penetrated my soul, right along with his words. “Do you understand me?” His tone was definitive and terrifying.
I nodded.
He moved his hand away from my face then took a step back. “Good,” he said, sliding one hand in the pocket of his dark blue dress pants. “There’s a first-aid kit under the bathroom sink. Bandage your wound and get dressed.” He nodded toward a stack of clothes on the other side of the bed. “Then come to the library. There’s something you need to know.”