“Doesn’t everyone have them?” She tried to act as nonchalant as possible, even if her hair was in disarray and she looked like she’d tossed and turned all night, so she wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Gorgeous girl, sorry to say, but the way you practically screamed bloody murder, that wasn’t normal. I should know.”
Hendrix once made me go see a counselor, saying he was tired of me waking him up in the middle of the night with my shouting. Sometimes he’d find me sleepwalking. The night we moved to the island, he tracked me down in the ocean up to my waist, shouting for everyone to leave me alone apparently. I laughed at the memory years later, though at the time, I had been terrified. If Hendrix hadn’t found me, I would have kept on walking into the sea until I drowned.
Grabbing her pillow and hugging it to her chest, Syn shuffled back in bed and crossed her legs in front of her. She licked her lips nervously, and something about how shy and delicate she looked, so breakable, made me want to madly protect her. To take her into my room, watch over her as she slept, wake her when her nightmares started.
Listening to myself, I wanted to kick my ass. Fuck, I had never brought a girl back to my room. That was my sanctuary, and yet for Syn, I already dreamed of keeping her there.
Fuck me. I barely knew her and already found myself behaving like my brothers.
What had she done to us?
“Tell me about your dreams, and I’ll tell you mine,” she offered in a brazen voice that suited her. Plus, there was something comforting in talking about the broken things that came to us in our dreams while both of us were shrouded in the night.
This was the girl I’d seen down in the kitchen, the one I’d been watching around the compound the last few days when Hendrix had allowed her to walk around… because there was a reason I was the best spymaster anyone’s met...but I was digressing. I’d watched Syn from a distance ever since I arrived back home, and at first, I thought her coyness was an act. Except it wasn’t, I realized.
She always looked over her shoulder and studied everything. I let myself believe she might be trying to find a way to escape, but that wasn’t the case at all. She was scared. Terrified, in fact; she checked every shadow on her back. The only people who did that were either killers who had every reason to be cautious, or victims of abuse.
I doubted this delicate thing was the murdering type.
“Sure, I’ll bite,” I finally answered her as she waited for a response. When I went to speak though, my words stalled, not wanting to come out so freely. When was the last time I’d spoken to anyone about my nightmares? About my sleepwalking...both of which had become less frequent over the years.
She looked at me curiously, and it was easy to lose myself as I stared at her. It almost bordered on obsession. And how quickly I felt these emotions around her worried me.
“Are you going to say something, or is this a staring competition?” she teased.
Fuck. Clearly, this wasn’t a good sign that I found her so intoxicating. Though, her presence was a breath of fresh air in the mansion… maybe that was why all three of us were so enraptured by her.
Clearing my throat, I said, “It’s not something I talk about lightly, that’s all.”
I noticed her small smile falter, and her eyes glittered with interest. “I know what you mean.”
“My father was a fucking asshole. Excuse me for swearing. But we grew up in a home where most days you didn’t know if he was going to say hello in the morning or shove you against the wall for getting in his way. It all happened after he lost his mate, you see. Love can really screw you up.”
I fell silent after that, my thoughts floating into the past.
“Get in there, you little shit,” Father growled, his large hand palming me in the back. He hit me with such force that I tripped into the wardrobe. My forehead hit the back wall, and stars danced in my vision. “Next time you think it's okay to speak rudely to me, to demand anything, I’ll break your bones.”
He kicked my legs, and I drew them inside, my inner wolf whimpering. I wanted to yell back that I only asked for a second slice of toast for breakfast, and that I was sorry.
But the door slammed shut, locking me inside, stealing all the light.
I yelled, terror squeezing my chest, and banged my fists on the door. “Let me out!”
Of course, my shouts fell on deaf ears, like they always did.
I slumped back in the empty cupboard, hugging my knees to my chest, and blinked the tears away. I rocked on the spot, back and forth. The wardrobe smelled of piss from the last time he forgot I was in here for a full day and night.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” I whispered to myself, because I knew if he came back and caught me, he’d bring out the whipping branch. His words already echoed in my ears, “You’re weak. Men don’t cry.” I cringed, feeling the phantom strike of the branch across the back of my legs. Of course, I’d heal… he counted on it so no one saw what he did to us.
I shook and wished with everything that I was stronger, that he didn’t hate me.
When the door finally creaked open, I flinched back. I had no idea how much time passed.
“River,” Hendrix murmured softly, his face poking through the open door. “Are you okay?” He had huge eyes that were red like he’d been crying.
I nodded, and that time I couldn’t hold back the tears.
“Don’t cry,” he said. “Here, I brought you something. Eat it quickly.” He handed me a sandwich, and I grabbed it before he shut the door, the click of the lock set back in place.
Hungrily, I bit into the meal, eating it fast when I heard the loud thump of footsteps hit the floorboards outside. I jammed the rest of it into my mouth and swallowed it quickly, half of the sandwich stuck in my chest. But I wouldn’t risk it… not when it would turn Father’s wrath against Hendrix.
Syn cleared her throat, and it pulled me out of my mind. Right, she was waiting for me to explain about my nightmares. But she beat me to it...
“Hendrix told me what your father did to you and your brothers at the lake,” she continued. “I’m so sorry that happened to you all. That’s never right.” She had her hand on mine, her fingers so tender, so comforting. Of course, Hendrix would have told her… she had an aura about her that made you want to open up your soul and lay it out in front of her.
My wolf groaned inside me; the gesture was one of acceptance of Syn. He liked her a lot… a bit too much, perhaps.
“You know enough about me. It's your turn then,” I said, my throat raw, the past still sticking to my thoughts like cobwebs. Memories that haunted my dreams.
Syn faked a yawn. “There’s really not much to tell. Just a stupid dream.”
I laughed at her. “Don’t lie to me,” I said, holding her gaze, rather enjoying how easily she distracted me from my mind.
“You sound just like Hendrix,” she answered.
I half-chuckled and gave her a cocky grin. “The difference is that I have an innate ability to sense when you’re lying, unlike my brother who bluffs.”
She raised a thin brow. “Like a lie detector? I’ve never heard of anyone having such an ability.”
“Remember what Hendrix told you our father did to us? Well, something happened that day. Something we still don’t understand, but we all changed. My brothers and I are different from your average wolf Alpha. We each gained different strengths when we almost died.”
She studied me and gnawed on her lower lip, leaning forward, most likely ready to pepper me with more questions. “I saw Hendrix’s monster,” she admitted. “What can you and Caspian do?”
“That’s a story for another night. I’ve said more than I should. Now, keep your word and speak up about your nightmares.”
She leaned against the headboard and hugged that damn pillow to her chest. Was there such a thing as pillow envy?
“And if I say I’m too tired and want to sleep now?” she said with a slight smile.