“Do you know how hard it’s been to focus this week, knowing I couldn’t see you?”
“Ant,” I sigh, wishing he wouldn’t say such swoony things to me.
I love it really, but it’s just a massive reminder that no matter how we really feel about each other, it can never work. Our parents would never allow it.
He smiles at me, refusing to deal with our reality, and instead we just secretly spend time together enjoying ourselves.
The film plays out in the background, but neither of us pays it any attention as we eat and talk about anything other than our families.
He tells me about uni and the exams he’s got coming up while I chat reluctantly about school and my classes. I hate talking about school, or even thinking about it really.
It was okay when it was just secondary school, but now we’re in sixth form, everyone expects me to know what I’m doing with my life, and the truth is, I have no clue.
I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m mediocre at best in all my subjects. I’m an okay gymnast and cheerleader, but it’s not exactly a career option.
Nothing is.
And I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mum. Yeah, I want kids one day, but it’s not the only thing I want.
I want a life of my own. A purpose. A career. I just don’t know what that might look like yet.
“Hey,” Ant says, dragging me from my thoughts. “You finished?” he asks, nodding at the mostly empty tray between us.
“Y-yeah,” I say, my eyes dropping to the last spring roll.
A wicked smile twitches at his lips as he climbs from the bed and moves the tray to the floor.
Walking over to the light switch, he dims it a little, then turns back to me, pausing to run his eyes up my legs where I’ve stretched them out in front of me.
He eats up the space between us quickly and he bends down, grabbing something before rejoining me on the bed and straddling my legs.
“Want it?” he asks, lifting the spring roll between us.
He runs it along my bottom lip, his eyes following its journey.
“Y-yeah, I do,” I say, wondering if we’re still talking about food right now.
“Open wide then,” he says, waiting for my lips to part.
The second they do, he pushes it into my mouth and watches, his eyes darkening as I wrap my lips around it and bite.
“Fuck, Sunshine,” he grunts. “You have no idea how hot you are, do you?”
I smile as I chew before watching him steal the other end of the spring roll and throw it into his mouth.
“Lie back,” he breathes, gently pushing my shoulder until I’m exactly where he wants me, beneath him on his bed.
My heart thunders in my chest as I stare up at him.
“All you gotta do is say the word and I’ll stop, you know that, right?” he asks.
“I trust you,” I breathe.
A smile that makes my stomach flip and my thighs clench appears on his lips. Reaching behind him, he pulls his shirt from his body in one smooth move that does little for the desire that’s already coursing through my veins.
It’s not the first time I’ve seen him shirtless. He’s given me the pleasure of witnessing, even touching his insanely cut torso before, and something tells me I’ve not done a very good job of hiding how much I love it.
Unable to stop myself, I reach out, running my fingertips from his chest all the way down to his waistband.