But I can’t deny there’s something missing.
The edge of darkness, the touch of pain. The thrill is there, of knowing I shouldn’t be doing this, but it’s not the same as it has been with Daemon.
That being said, as he pulls my body against the length of his, I push all thoughts of the man who abducted me, drugged me and bound me to his bed from my mind and lose myself in the sweet guy who’s done nothing but care for me since we first met.
If the situation were different, he’d be the perfect guy. One I would happily bring home to meet my parents and introduce to my friends. But I can’t. It’s already a miracle that he survived Friday night. I can only assume that Daemon decided to spare his life, because even I know he’s a better shot than that. He was almost at point-blank range—there’s no way Ant would be standing here right now if Daemon wanted him dead.
I guess the only question is, why isn’t he?
Ant walks me backward until my calves hit my bed. He lowers me back and I go happily until he grunts in pain.
“Shit, are you okay?”
“Right now, I’m fucking perfect,” he says, crawling over me the second I’m laid out beneath him.
His hand slips under my shirt, holding my waist, but he doesn’t make a move to push it any higher, seemingly just content to kiss me.
“I was so scared he’d punish you for being with me,” he mutters, kissing across my jaw and down my neck.
“He’s not like that, not with me.” I cringe at my words, but I can’t deny that they’re true.
“I still don’t trust him with you, even if you are a Cirillo.”
“Ant, don’t,” I moan. I don’t need any reminders of all the reasons he shouldn’t be here right now, all the reasons why I should be sending him away.
But I can’t. I’m too fucking relieved that he’s here, that he’s alive, and I’m too lost in his kisses.
I arch off the bed, my own hand slipping inside his hoodie, my palm grazing his abs.
Needing more, I reach for the zip running down the middle of his body and pull on it.
The second I see the bandage covering his chest and wrapping around his shoulder, I pause.
“How bad is it?” I ask.
“It’s fine. Just hurts a bit,” he confesses, sitting up straight and looking down at me with longing in his eyes.
“A bit.”
“Yeah.” He pushes the fabric from his shoulders and throws it to the floor, gifting me the sight of his bare torso.
Sitting up, putting us chest to chest, I brush my fingers over the fresh bandage.
“He could have killed you.”
“It would have been worth it.”
“No,” I say, gripping his chin between my fingers. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”
His dark eyes hold mine, the rich brown almost black as he stares at me.
“But it’s true. I really like you, Calli. I just wish—”
“I know,” I breathe, slipping my hand around the back of his neck and resting my head on his non-injured shoulder. “You should go,” I whisper regretfully.
“I shouldn’t have even come. But I can’t stay away.”
A sob erupts in my chest and I hold him tighter in the hope it’ll stop me from falling apart in his arms.
“I just need tonight, Sunshine. Please. I just need…”
He lowers me back to the bed and falls onto his side, pulling my body close.
“Just give me this and then…” He swallows roughly. “I’ll try to do the right thing.”
He emphasises the word ‘try’, and while I might agree with him with a silent nod, I know it’s never going to be enough for him to walk away.
Our legs tangle together and I let go of all of my concerns about what happens when the sun rises, just giving myself over to this sweet guy who is risking it all to spend time with me.