His jaw tics as he refuses to believe those words.
“I took, Calli. You didn’t willingly give anything, and I’ll never forgive myself for the lapse in restraint that led us here.”
His eyes bounce between mine as he silently begs me to believe him, to believe he’s not worthy of the happiness I’m sure we could find if he would just let himself be… well… him.
“You can drop the bad boy soldier, I’m not worthy of anything, bullshit with me, you know. I see right through it anyway,” I warn.
“I-I’ve n-no idea what you’re t-talking about.”
Self-hatred darkens his eyes as he loses his fight with his composure and I attempt to rip his armour away from him.
Lifting my hand, I cup his jaw.
“Show me that boy, Nikolas. The one you’re scared of.”
Silence stretches out between us, but before either of us gets a chance to say any more, the door opens and Daemon jumps back as if I’ve just burned him.
Spinning on my heels, I rip the fridge open and look inside, hoping the chill is enough to cool my cheeks and calm my racing heart.
“Did you forget you came in here for beer? I’m fucking dying out there, man,” Alex says, making my heart jump into my throat.
Was he hoping to catch us up to something?
Cursing myself for my out-of-control, possibly misplaced paranoia, I finally start looking for what I actually want from in here.
“You okay, baby C? You look like you’re trying to climb in the fridge.”
“Y-yeah, just looking for the Coke.”
The warmth of his body covers my back as he reaches over my shoulder.
“It’s right here. Jesus, how many have you had?”
Nowhere near enough.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Take them out, Bro. I’m going for a slash.”
“Yeah, sure,” Daemon says, picking the bottles up and walking out the door.
“You sure you’re good? Did he say something or…” He studies me, and I swear he’s begging me to open up. To confirm what he already knows.
But I don’t. I can’t.
Plastering on a smile, I look up at him.
“Everything is great. I’m just enjoying the freedom before I spend the rest of the holidays studying.”
“Not sure I’m a fan of the seriousness that’s looming for us.”
“No, me neither. We’ve all got it under control though, right?” I ask a little hesitantly, not really believing my words.
“Hell, yeah. Of course we have. I think the others are going to get ready for the hot tub in a bit. You packed a bikini, right?”
“You look way more excited by that prospect than you should be,” I mutter.
“The five of you, bikinis, and a hot tub… my idea of heaven, Cal.”