“I’m still in the parking lot.”
“Come back inside. Lauren and Jon have gone. Audrey and Alex are with Viv now. She’s been moved to a private room, and I know where. You can take a glimpse at her, but that’s all, Dillon. No talking to her, and you can’t let her see you. That’s the dealio. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it. Thanks, Ash.” I couldn’t love my sister more in this moment. I know she’s mad at me, and she’s going to be even madder when I tell her everything, but she’s still going to bat for me.
“Stay here,” I tell Ro, handing him the keys. “I won’t be long.” He lowers his seat, to take another nap, while I grab a hoodie from the back seat. Yanking the hood up, I climb out of my car and head back inside the hospital.
Ash is waiting for me as soon as I step out of the lift. “Good call with the hoodie,” she murmurs, dragging me down the corridor. “Security just found a reporter on this floor, snooping around.”
“We need to get protection up here for Viv,” I say.
“I’ve already messaged her parents asking if they want me to organize that. It seems Reeve has his own team of bodyguards. They are sending a couple over, which means you have to do this fast. Audrey will be pissed when she sees you, Dil, so just take a quick look at Viv and then go.”
Jamie nods at his fiancée as we pass by. He’s crouched over the nurses’ desk, distracting the burly-looking blonde behind the counter, so we can sneak past.
Ash slams to a halt at a closed white door. “This one,” she whispers, pointing.
Without stopping to second-guess myself, I open the door and step inside Viv’s darkened room. She is semi-propped up in the elevated bed, her tangled hair resting on a bunch of pillows. A large purple bruise on her cheekbone matches one on her right temple. A white bandage is strapped around her wrist, and she’s hooked up to a drip and another machine. Lighting is low, and the blinds are closed, to help with her concussion, I’m guessing. She looks battered and bruised and lost, but at least she’s alive.
“What the hell, Ash?” Audrey says from her place beside the bed. She is stroking Viv’s hand, and exhaustion is clearly evident on her face.
A tall guy with sandy-blond hair and red-rimmed brown eyes growls at me from the other side of Viv’s bed. This must be Alex. Audrey’s husband and Reeve’s best friend. Hostility rolls off him in waves as he stands. “Get the fuck out of here before I make you.”
Viv winces, slowly turning her head in my direction.
“Alex,” Audrey murmurs, shaking her head.
A cry bursts from Vivien’s lips, and her tortured hazel eyes fill with tears. She tries to sit more upright in the bed, clutching her stomach, in obvious pain, at the sudden movement.
“You need to stay still, babe,” Audrey says. “You’ll rip your stitches.”
“Reeve!” Viv cries, staring at me with bloodshot eyes. “Tell them to bring Lainey back. They took our baby!” Her hands move to her deflated stomach. “I can’t feel her, Reeve. She’s not kicking.” Her eyes stretch wide as she looks up at me.
Horrified shock splays across Audrey’s face as she stares between us. “Come sing to her, like you usually do,” Viv adds, shoving the covers down and running her hands over her much smaller bump. “C’mon, Reeve. She’ll wake up when she hears you singing. You have such a gorgeous voice.”
I am rooted to the spot in horror. I shouldn’t have come here. This is only making things worse. I want to leave, but I’m afraid to leave now. I don’t know what I should do. I look at Audrey, beseeching her to tell me what to do. Silent tears are streaming down her face. She turns to face her husband, pleading with her eyes for him to do something. But he’s as shell-shocked as we are.
This is tearing strips off my heart. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to do or say anything to set her off. She’s clearly traumatized and probably still drugged up and disoriented.
“Reeve, please.” She stretches her arms out. “I need you,” she wails, as tears trek down her face.
I move toward her as if on autopilot, hoping my instincts will guide me. Alex has moved over beside his wife, cradling her in his arms as she cries her eyes out. They watch me, and it only adds to the responsibility I’m feeling. Cautiously, I sit on the edge of Viv’s bed, struggling to hold my own emotion inside. All I want to do is hold her and tell her I still love her. That I never stopped.
But I know I can’t.
She grabs my left hand. The one I don’t wear rings on. “Where’s your wedding ring?” she asks, her voice rising. “Where is your ring, Reeve?” She stares into my face, and her eyes pop wide. She drops my hand as if it’s poisonous. “You’re not Reeve!” she croaks in a hoarse voice. “You’re not him. You’re not my husband.” She pummels her fists against my chest, but there is no strength in her motion. “Go away! I don’t want you! I want Reeve! Reeve!” she rasps, her fragile voice bouncing off the walls. “Reeve! Where are you? I need you.”
I don’t even realize I’m crying until tears drip off my chin, sloping down my neck and onto my chest. My heart is breaking in a combination of pain for her and for me. I know she’s having a breakdown, but she will never want me. It will always be him.
“Vivien. It’s Audrey.” Audrey has pulled herself together. Bending over her best friend, she brushes hair back off her face as Alex glares at me like he wants to murder me with his bare hands. “You need to calm down. Please, babe. Just take deep breaths.”
“I want Reeve! I want my husband. God can’t take him too!” She swings tormented eyes on me. “This is all your fault! He knew! Reeve knew I was lying to him! He knew about Easton. He was so mad. So upset. He wouldn’t slow down! I told him to slow down! He wouldn’t listen. He didn’t listen.” The words spill from her mouth in a torrent of anguish and pain while her eyes dart wildly around the room. More words gush from her mouth, in a stream of nonsensical statements, and I’m seriously worried about her mental state. Viv’s sobs echo through the clinical room, and each one strips another layer off my heart.
Her eyes connect with mine again, and there is no warmth in her gaze. “My husband died thinking I betrayed him because you blackmailed me into keeping quiet! He thought I was fucking you!” she croaks, rubbing a hand over her chest. “I hate you!” She beats me with her fists again, but she’s so weak they hardly register. A part of me wishes she was strong enough to inflict real physical pain because it’s the least I deserve.
“I hate you so much, Dillon!” She slaps my face, but I barely feel it. I let her attempt to hit and punch me as Alex presses the button to call the nurse. Audrey has her hand over her mouth, sobbing as she watches her friend self-destruct. “You ruined my life,” Viv sobs, collapsing against her pillow as all the fight leaves her. A line of red stains her blue hospital gown across the middle. “You have taken everything from me, but you can’t have E.” She fixes me with dark eyes. “You don’t deserve him. Reeve is his dad. Reeve will always be his dad. You’ll have to cut my heart out of my chest before I let you take him.”
“Dil.” Ash quietly tugs on my sleeve, pulling me away from the bed. I had forgotten she was even here. “Let’s go.”
“Keep him away from me, Ash!” Viv shouts. “He did this! He did this to me!”
A nurse rushes into the room, and I watch helplessly as Viv is sedated while Ash tries to drag me away. My sister is a feisty, determined little thing, but she’s no match for my height and my weight. Silent tears leak from my eyes as I watch Viv’s eyelids close.
“Get him out of here,” Audrey says, ignoring me and looking at Ash. “Get him out of this hospital. I don’t want him anywhere near Vivien or my godson.”
Jamie enters the room, and together, he and Ash drag me away. I stumble along the hallway, heartbroken and full of self-loathing. Shucking my sister and my best friend off me, I slump to the ground in the hallway, bringing my knees to my chest as I let it all out. I don’t care that others are a witness to this. My chest heaves and my shoulders shake as I cry. Pain pummels me from every angle, and I wish I’d been driving. I wish I was the one lying on a cold table in a morgue. I wish I could rewind the years and do so many things differently.
Ash kneels, bundling me in her arms. “It will be okay, Dil. She didn’t mean it. She’s traumatized and grieving.”
“I fucked up, Ash.” I lift my eyes to her, hardly able to see her through my tears. “I fucked up real bad. Viv is right. Thisismy fault, and she’s never going to forgive me. She will never get over losing her husband and her baby, and she will always blame me.”