44
VIVIEN
“Sex with you just gets better and better every time,” I pant, later that night when we’re home in bed, after a second round of fucking. “I’m going to go crazy when you have to leave.” I turn on my side, facing him.
He pushes damp strands of hair off my brow. “Why do you think I bought all those sex toys?”
“I’m insisting on nightly video sex.”
He cups my cheek. “I’d like to promise I can do that, but things will be fairly hectic on the road, and it might not always be possible.”
Unspoken words linger in the space between us as tension bleeds into the air. We have both known this day was coming, but I had purposely put it out of my mind because I was dealing with so much other stuff. But now it’s looming, it’s all I can think of.
Ash is excited about my plan, and while the deadline is tight, she has agreed to help pull out all the stops to try to make it happen. She agrees we should keep it between us so I can hopefully surprise him with the mother of all surprises.
“You could come you know?” He twirls a strand of my hair around his finger.
“I can’t,” I blurt, panicked. “You know how important routine is for Easton. He has school, and I think I’m going to return to work in the new year.”
“We could hire a tutor, and you’re freelance, so you can work anywhere.”
“I must be available to attend weekly team meetings in person, and I really don’t think the rock and roll lifestyle is one Easton should be around.” I avert my eyes because I know I’m a shit liar, and he can probably see right through me.
“I’ll quit the band.”
“What?” I shriek, sitting up and staring at him like he’s just sprouted wings. “You can’t quit the band. Especially not at the last minute like this.”
He sits up, leaning against the headboard. “I don’t want to leave the guys in the lurch, but you and Easton are more important.” He threads his fingers through my hair. “I don’t want to leave you. The thought of being apart from you makes me feel physically ill.”
“You think I want to be separated from you either?”
He shrugs, and that pisses me off. “That was a fucking rhetorical question, Reeve.”
He sucks in a sharp gasp, and pained eyes stare back at me. I don’t understand what I’ve said until… “Oh my God.” I crawl over to him. “I’m so sorry, Dillon. It was just a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I hope he’s not remembering the hospital when I was confused and I thought he was Reeve.
“It’s fine,” he clips out, looking down at his lap.
“It’s not fine. I’m really sorry, baby. Please forgive me.” I squeeze his hands, willing him to look at me. I can’t believe I slipped up like that. It’s unforgivable, and I want to cry because I know I’ve just wounded him deeply, but he’s not blameless either. “It wasn’t intentional, Dillon. I was angry because you’re discounting my commitment to you. You’re acting like you’re going to miss me more, but that’s bullshit and totally unfair. I will miss you every bit as much as you’ll miss me.”
“I know. I’m sorry for insinuating you wouldn’t. I just don’t want to go without you. Please come with me, Viv. We’ll find a way to make it work.”
“Dillon, I want to, but I think it’s best if we stay here,” I lie. “Easton will have to get used to you being away for work. He needs to see you go and come back.”
“Right.” He removes his hand, and a muscle clenches in his jaw.
“We can come visit you on holidays and for weekends. I still have Ree—the private jet.”
“Sounds great.” He turns on his side, letting me know it’s anything but great.
I chew on the inside of my mouth, wondering if I should just tell him. However, if I can’t pull it off, he’ll only be disappointed, so I decide to say nothing for now.
The next week is strained, and there’s a distance between us caused by the elephant in the room. Dillon spends every spare minute when he’s not rehearsing with Easton. He still sleeps here, in our bed, by my side, but he might as well be in outer space for all the attention he gives me. He’s hurting, and I hate he is, but it will be worth it in the end to see the joy on his face when he realizes what I’ve done.
Dillon stays at his own house the night before the band is due to leave, and I don’t protest as it gives me time to pack up our stuff without him noticing. Ash came through for me in the end, with some support from Mom, and it’s happening. I’m so excited, and keeping this from Dillon now is virtually impossible, so it’s just as well he hasn’t been here much the last twenty-four hours. I haven’t told Easton either because he’d never have been able to keep it a secret.
If I had known I could pull it off in time, I would’ve told Dillon last week and avoided hurting him. But it will all be forgotten in a few hours when Easton and I walk up the steps of the band’s private jet and announce we are coming with them.
I bring Easton into my confidence just before Dillon arrives to say goodbye. He’s bouncing off the walls with excitement, and I hope he doesn’t let the cat out of the bag. At this late stage, I want to keep the surprise until the last moment. However, it backfires spectacularly when Easton says goodbye with a big smiley face and then runs off like it’s no big deal that his daddy is leaving for seven months.