The dark cloud that had stalked me for two years was still present, but it was lighter. More manageable.
“Good. Now explain Jules to me.”
“Jesus Christ.” I cracked my eyes open and glared at Alex. Renewed tension zipped down my spine and turned my muscles into stone. “There’s nothing to explain, but if you’re curious, she’s five-six with red hair, hazel eyes—”
“You almost beat a man to death because he hurt her,” Alex said. “Don’t insult me by pretending she doesn’t mean anything to you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, regretting, not for the first time, my eighteen-year-old self’s decision to befriend the man sitting next to me.
Still, after keeping my relationship—my former relationship—with Jules secret for so long, it would be nice to talk about it with someone…even if said someone had the emotional range of a teaspoon.
“You promise not to tell Ava?” I wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.
“I promise not to bring it up, but if she asks me about it directly, I’ll tell her the truth.” Alex lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “Sorry.”
I’ve never heard anyone sound less sorry in my life. But the chances of Ava asking about me and Jules were low; she still thought we hated each other.
After a long moment of deliberation, I explained the whole saga to Alex, starting with my and Jules’s clinic truce and ending with her visit to the ER.
When I finished, the pressure had resettled in my chest, and Alex stared at me with an uncharacteristic glint of disbelief in his eyes.
“What?”
“Ninety-nine percent of people in this world are idiots,” he said. “I regret to inform you that you’re one of them.”
My brows snapped together. “I’m convinced you don’t actually want to be my friend again.”
Where was the ass kissing? The flattery? He gave up his company and flew to fucking London for Ava, but I couldn’t get so much as a sympathetic that sucks, man? Talk about getting the short end of the grovel stick.
“I’ll send you flowers later if you’re that upset about it,” Alex said dryly. “But first, listen to yourself. You’re in love with Jules, for God knows what reason, and you’re upset she lied after she told you the truth?”
My shoulders tensed. “I’m not in love with her.”
“You almost killed someone for her.”
“So? You almost kill someone every day. It’s nothing special.”
“Don’t try to change the subject. You’re bad at it.” Alex flicked a piece of lint off his pants. “You say I don’t actually want to be your friend again? Then I’ll give you something you say you want so much. The truth.”
“Which is?”
“That you’re a stubborn fuck who’s too blind to see what’s right in front of you.”
My tension hardened into a migraine. “I changed my mind. I don’t want the truth.”
Alex continued like I hadn’t spoken. “Jules may have lied to you, but she also willingly told you the truth. If she kept her mouth shut, you probably would’ve never found out what she did. The only reason someone would make an unprompted confession like that is because they want a fresh start, and the only reason they’d want a fresh start when the relationship is already going well is because they realized something.”
Get. Out.
I lo—
Don’t you dare say it. I said, get out, Jules. Get the fuck out!
My heart slammed against my chest and bruised my ribcage with each painful thud.
“I don’t have to tell you what the realization is,” Alex said. “You’re smart enough to figure it out. But according to you, she didn’t tell you earlier because she was afraid of how you’d react. She didn’t think you’d take her side. Now, tell me. How did you react when she finally told you?”
The oxygen in the room thinned.
Forget painful. Every breath was downright excruciating.
“I’m not a big fan of Jules, but you are my best friend. I want you to be happy.” Alex’s face softened a smidge, but that didn’t blunt the harshness of his words. “You can’t be happy if you have your head buried so far in the sand you think you can just walk away and forget her. Take it from someone who tried to do the same once with someone I love. You’ll be miserable until you resolve the situation.”
I’d never heard Alex utter so many words in such a short time. I would’ve been more stunned had I not been busy replaying them in my mind.
She didn’t tell you earlier because she was afraid of how you’d react. Now, tell me. How did you react?
I tilted my head back and squeezed my eyes shut again. “Oh, fuck.”
What the hell have I done?