“Good. Ugh, Paul. I’m still shaking.”
She opened and closed her hands, stuffing them into the pocket of the hoodie she’d changed into. I looked at it then, eyes focusing on the logo on the chest. It was Will’s squadron’s crest. As he paced by the foot of the bed in just a tee and jeans, I thought absentmindedly how nice of him it was to have given it to her at some point. Aria was clearly still reeling from what happened last night, and since I was so preoccupied worrying about Shelby, I was glad he’d been around for my sister.
“You did really good with her,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion.
Aria sniffed. “I was so scared.”
“Me too.”
“I ordered that AED thinking I was being overly cautious. The B&B manager actually said it was overkill.”
I swallowed. “Well, I’m glad you did.”
“Shelby’s going to freak out when she wakes up,” Aria said after a beat of silence.
A wry smile made it to my lips. “She’s gonna think she made a scene.”
“Yep.”
“Do you remember when we saw that guy being wheeled out of the mall in Waikiki with that CPR machine on his chest?” she asked. “Shelby and I talked about it later that night and she said she hoped that if something like that ever happened to her that they would have one. I remember being so freaked out imagining that.”
“I had the same thought when I saw it,” I admitted. “I heard the doctors saying that your defibrillator and that machine are the only reasons she’s okay.”
Aria pitched forward then, putting her head between her knees. I put my hand on her back and rubbed it in wide circles. Will’s feet stuttered in his pacing when he saw her, and he shook his head, turning back around.
My gaze traveled over to Shelby again. She looked so peaceful as she slept, almost like the horrors of the last twenty-four hours hadn’t even happened, and she might as well be asleep anywhere, not in a hospital room. Aria was right. She was totally going to freak out about whether or not she ruined anyone’s Valentine’s Day with her cardiac episode. It would be such a Shelby thing to do. Worry about everyone else before herself. Worry about being a burden. Worry about being an inconvenience. Little did she know, she was all I ever worried about.
Something hit me then, and my stomach turned. When her cardiologist told her to take a couple days to think about the implant, one of the first things she’d said to me was that she didn’t want to be a burden on me while she was in recovery. I’d convinced her that it wasn’t like that… but after this? What if this caused her to completely spin out? What if going through this made her want to push me away again? I’d thought I’d already used up my body’s supply of cortisol and adrenaline after being so afraid for Shelby last night. But now, sitting here wondering if this event was going to make her leave me, it all came flooding back in full force.
“You know what’s crazy?” I asked them.
Will stopped pacing and looked up at me. “What?”
“When we were sitting at dinner, I thought about asking her to marry me,” I admitted.
Aria’s eyes were wide when she straightened. “Really?”
“Yeah. But I didn’t have a ring or anything. And I worried that it would be too soon after what happened with Roxy. Which was also kind of dumb, because honestly, I feel like I could have married Shelby a decade ago if she would have let me.”
My sister reached over and patted my leg. “Don’t worry, Paul. She’s going to get through this, and when the time is right, you can propose. And that way you’ll have time to get her a nice ring. This time not from the dollar store.”
I glared at her, but still managed a choked laugh. I was about to fire back with my own random dig, but a movement caught my eye.
“Paul?” Shelby’s voice floated over, quiet and weak.
I jumped up, making it to her bedside in two quick strides. Taking her hand in mine, I pulled it to my lips, pressing a fierce kiss to her knuckles. “Hey, I’m here.”
“We’ll be back, Paul,” Aria said as she and Will slipped out.
My attention remained on Shelby as she looked around the room, clearly disoriented. I sat on the edge of the bed, bringing her hand up and holding it tightly to my chest. “How do you feel?”
“Um, well, disappointed that wasn’t a really bad dream.”
I started to chuckle, but the emotions I’d felt through this whole thing had me leaning forward onto the bed, careful not to put any real weight on her as I pressed my face into the pillow next to her. Breathing deeply, it took all of my remaining energy not to cry as she tilted her head to rest her cheek against mine.
Leaning back, I cleared my throat and tried to collect myself. I needed to be strong for her. I couldn’t fall apart right when she needed me the most. But the relief choked me, threatening to break me right when I needed to keep it together.
“Paul,” she said, meeting my gaze.