17
Shelby
Isat in a lawn chair at the landing zone with the skydiving company’s logo on it, Donna on one side of me and Aria on the other. We sipped on cans of sweet tea from a local company and tried to talk about whatever nonsense we could think of to keep Donna from worrying about Joe.
Logically, I knew this was totally safe. If tourists in Hawaii can book one of these and fall from the sky right next to the ocean, surely it was a safe enough recreational activity in general. Then again, they also let tourists swim with sharks, so that wasn’t any saner.
“Hey, I meant to ask you,” Aria said to me, “did you see Roxy after the proposal?”
I sighed heavily. “Yeah. She came into the studio to get her stuff.”
“No way. What did she say?” Aria asked, leaning forward.
“Literally, nothing. She totally avoided and ignored me. I’m pretty sure she’s just embarrassed. It was so awkward.”
“I can imagine it would be after she did what she did,” Donna said in a clipped tone.
I’d always liked Donna. Ever since Paul and I first became friends, Donna and Joe had welcomed me into their family like I was one of their own. Looking back at it now, they were probably joining in with the rest of the town speculating about whether or not Paul and I would eventually get together, but Donna never once hinted toward that to me. It was almost like she was content either way. Whether I remained her son’s best friend or whether we became something more, I was welcome in their lives.
But then, once Paul and I crossed the line from friends to more, he said they couldn’t have been happier about it when they found out. He’d told them yesterday after Aria had seen us at breakfast, knowing she’d go home and spill to them anyway, so he wanted them to hear it from him.
I loved that even though they were really happy we’d started this new chapter of our relationship, they hadn’t made it awkward for us so far. Today had been like any other day hanging out with the Bristols (and Will, of course, since he was rarely far behind when we did stuff like this). Paul and I had held hands, hugged, and even stolen a kiss or two today, and no one commented about how strange it was.
In my mind, it felt so natural and good that it almost seemed wrong to admit that it could be strange. But at the same time, it kind of was when I really thought about it. I’d gone so long trying to force us into a friendship box that the transition out of it was a little surreal.
“I still can’t believe she just left like that,” Aria said. “I’m glad she did, don’t get me wrong, but the whole thing was so quick. I have a hard time believing she ever considered staying here with him. You know what I mean? Like, I bet she was ready to go as soon as she found out about that job and was just hoping he’d be cool with it or they’d break up, no biggie.”
I nodded. “You might be right.”
“Well, good riddance,” Donna said. “Besides, if she hadn’t gotten that job opportunity, she might have said yes to Paul even though her heart wasn’t in it. That would be the real tragedy. If they’d gone on to get married and had kids before they realized they weren’t right for each other, then he’d really be up a creek.”
“It all worked out the way it was supposed to,” Aria mused. Then she reached for her pocket and pulled out her phone, squinting at the screen in the bright sunlight. “Shoot, this is one of my upcoming brides. I’ll be right back.”
Aria excused herself and I turned my eyes back to the sky, wondering when we’d start to see their parachutes floating down to us. Donna looked over at me. “I hope you don’t mind that we brought up Roxy. It’s all so fresh, and I’m not quite used to you being his girlfriend and not his friend. Talking like that with you used to be normal.”
“No, I don’t mind. It was definitely a shock.” I looked down, turning my can of sweet tea around in my hands. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Of course not, sweetheart. What’s up?”
I took a deep breath. Not only had I been close to Paul’s parents before he left, but they kept me so firmly rooted as part of their family while he’d been gone, that talking to her felt like talking to my own mom. But because of that, I know she’s also had a front-row seat to a lot of my struggles over the years. I couldn’t help but wonder how she felt about us being together when she factored those in.
“Paul said you and Joe were really happy about us getting together, but um, does it also worry you at all?”
Donna blinked at me. “Why would it worry me?”
“Well, I mean, my life is pretty complicated. I’m nervous about him having to deal with it when he could have found someone who was… healthy.”
“Oh, honey,” Donna said, reaching over and patting my arm, “don’t let yourself think like that. I can see why it would be scary if he were someone you’d just met, but Paul has had about as long as you’ve had to get used to your HCM. So if anyone knows what he’s in for, it’s him. And since he knows what he’s in for and he still wants to be with you, I’m not worried at all.”
“That’s good. I feel really guilty. We’ve both felt this way for a long time, but I couldn’t handle the idea of him giving things up to be with me, so I pushed him away. I’m afraid I won’t be around long enough to grow old with him. And I’m not sure where I stand with having kids, considering my condition is genetic. I know Paul would be the cutest dad… it all feels very dark.”
Donna pursed her lips and nodded. “He would be the cutest dad. And he does want kids. But I think the best thing you can do right now is focus on you and Paul and this new relationship. You’ve been friends for a long time, but you’ve been dating since, well, what time is it?”
Understanding her point, I let out a short laugh. “That’s valid.”
“Young people put too much pressure on themselves, especially about things that are sometimes years away from happening. You’re doing it with your condition already, worried about not being able to grow old with him, when you don’t know that youwon’tgrow old.”
“True.”