All too soon, she pulled back, panting as she stared into my eyes. Reality hit me like a freight train. Her chest moved up and down in short little bursts like she’d been running, and her eyes were wild as they flickered back and forth between mine. My hands moved over her, comforting now, checking to make sure she was steady on her feet.
“Are you okay?” I asked, my voice hoarse with the need that still coursed through my veins.
She nodded, rubbing her lips together as she loosened her hold on me. “Yes.”
“Are you dizzy? Do you feel lightheaded? Here, come sit down.”
“Paul, I’m fine.”
I started to take her hand to lead her to her chair, but she slipped out of my grasp. “Shel, seriously, you look flushed. Come sit.”
“Paul,” she bit out, frustration flaring in her brown eyes, “I said I’m fine.”
“I know but—”
“See?” she asked, lifting her hands and then letting them fall in exasperation. “This is exactly what I didn’t want. Don’t coddle me.”
“I’m notcoddlingyou. I’m making sure you’re okay. That was intense and I—”
She stepped forward then, taking my hands and tugging them around her waist before linking hers around my neck. “Yes. It was intense. And yes, I feel dizzy and lightheaded, and maybe I’m a little flushed. But that’s okay. I think anyone would be after a kiss like that. Aren’t you? Do you need to sit down, too?”
I blinked down at her, startled by her words. Then I chuckled slightly. “Yeah, maybe I do.”
“See? And you don’t have a heart condition.”
Shaking my head, I gave her a small smile. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s hard for me not to wanna make sure you’re all right.”
“I know. And that’s great. I love that you care. But I’m not breakable.”
I reached up and brushed her hair back from her face, staring down at her perfectly smooth skin and the full lips that were slightly pink around the edges after the heat of our kiss. Will was right. I was wrong to think of Shelby as being made of glass. She wasn’t. She was strong and passionate and totally capable of earth-shattering kisses without me needing to worry about her.
I leaned down and pressed a softer kiss to her mouth, not because I felt like I needed to, but because I was grateful that I could. She tightened her grip at the back of my neck and pulled me closer, taking the kiss deeper. This time, there was none of the urgency of the last one. It was slow and sweet and dangerously tender. It was the kind of kiss that warned of total misery if for some reason it couldn’t be repeated.
Finally, she pulled back again, and this time her eyes held a dreamy quality when she looked up at me. “We have a problem.”
Her words contrasted so sharply with the expression on her face that it took me a second to register them. “We do?”
“Yes. We didn’t talk about what it would mean if we took our friendship to the next level, and now it’s too late.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, still holding her close. Now that I had her in my arms like this, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to let her go.
“Because we won’t be able to go back now. If we decide not to do this, if we decide we can’t be together, we won’t be able to be in each other’s lives as friends. I know I won’t be able to, anyway.”
I felt my lips curve into a slow smile as I studied her. “Well, I think we’ll be fine, then. Because I can’t think of anything that would make me want to go back to being friends. Not now.”
She frowned, swallowing hard. “Even knowing we won’t be able to have kids? Knowing that even if we get married, my condition… it’s complicated. We don’t know what could happen in the future.”
My stomach flipped. I hated that she had to worry about this. I hated that it weighed so heavily on her. I racked my brain to come up with something helpful. “Shel, no one knows what could happen in the future.”
“It’s not the same,” she insisted. “This is different. Serious. I’ve been managing my symptoms with medication, but I could eventually need more. I could need an implant or a transplant. It could get bad without me knowing, and my heart could give out. It’s heavy stuff, Paul.”
“I know. Hey, listen,” I said, holding her tighter as she tried to back away, “I’ve been here since the beginning. I’ve always known what could happen, and I’m still here. I still want this.”
“And what about the kids thing? You’re really going to be okay if we don’t have them?”