“Yes,” I said, sighing heavily. “I admit that I may have convinced myself that I should marry Roxy in a settling-for-her kind of way. But listen, it wasn’t like… a conscious thing, okay? I didn’t actively think to myself, ‘Well, hey, if I can’t have Shelby, I’ll be with Roxy.’”
“Sure you didn’t.”
“I didn’t.” At least, I didn’t think I did. “No, I really don’t think that was the deal. I thought Roxy and I could make it work.”
Will was quiet for a minute, then he shrugged. “I bet a lot of people could make it work. Doesn’t mean they should.”
“Yeah. Maybe so. I didn’t really get it until the conversation with Shelby afterward though.”
“Did you tell her that she was the thing you wanted that you couldn’t have?”
I looked from side to side. “Uh, well, I didn’t spell it out. But I’m reasonably sure she got the message. Context, you know.”
“I see.”
“But since I didn’t actually say it, maybe we can forget it. Maybe we can act normal and go back to how it was before. We survived the awkwardness after prom, so who says we can’t survive this awkwardness?”
Will adjusted his position in the seat, hooking a thumb under the seat belt and tugging it away from his chest. “Man, why are you so worried about surviving awkwardness? Just go for it. Figure it out and tell her you want to be with her. No more half-confessions of love.”
“Half-confessions? Really?”
“Bro, on prom night you totally tiptoed around that whole thing. Which led her to tell you that she sees you like family, sure, but you asked for it.”
“How do you figure?”
“If you’d just grabbed her and kissed her instead of all that talking, she wouldn’t have said what she said. I guarantee it.”
I scoffed. “Wow. Well, as nice as that idea is, I’m not going to grab Shelby and kiss her.”
“Why not?”
“Because… I don’t know. She’s…” The first word that came to my mind was fragile, but that was wrong. Shelby wasn’t fragile by any stretch of the imagination. She was strong. Brave. Brilliant. Game for anything and tough as nails when others would crumble.
But all of that aside, I’d seen her crumble. I’d seen when her heart literally couldn’t do its one job. I’d carried her limp body in my arms while I ran for help, praying the entire way that I would do anything if only she’d be okay. And for that reason, and several others, I couldn’t see myself just grabbing her and kissing her.
“Where’d you go?” Will asked.
I shook my head. “Sorry.”
“So, why won’t you grab her and kiss her?”
“I guess because I don’t want to hurt her. I spend the entire time I’m with her making sure she’s okay. I’m always watching out for things that could be too much and making sure she’s feeling okay. The idea of literally grabbing her and kissing her—or even how crazy intense our conversation got last night—immediately makes me feel guilty.”
Will whistled. “Well, shoot.”
“What?”
“No wonder she friend-zoned you.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Women respond to how you treat them. Good or bad. You treat a woman poorly, and she’ll rightfully leave you. You treat a woman well, she’ll do the same in return. And if you treat a woman like your little sister, she’ll keep her hands to herself, no matter how she might feel about you in return. Trust me. Your actions put the kibosh on a relationship a long time before her words did on prom night.”
I laughed out loud. “You’re so full of it.”
“I am not. I speak the truth. Shelby Thompson isn’t made of glass. If you’d kissed her last night instead of being a big ol’ wussy, you’d know that. And the two of you would probably be together right about now instead of in a weird place, wondering what’s gonna happen to your friendship.”
“I’d still be on my way to work, actually,” I grumbled, stalling with sarcasm while I mulled it over.