I take a sip of my drink. “Oh yeah? Why’s that.”
This is too easy. Let me guess: because now she’s with me.
“Well, I’ve been eyeing you up since I first got here and was hoping I would get a chance to talk to you.”
“Here I am, babe. I’m all yours.”
Getting under her is a definite way to forget my troubles. Our gazes lock as she brings her drink to her glossy pink lips. When she brings the cup back down, I’m still staring at her lips, and I wonder how they would look wrapped around my cock. Down, boy.
After a few more minutes of shameless flirting and meaningless conversation with her friends, Becca has settled in front of me so that her back is pressing against my front. I hold my beer with one hand while the other hand rests on her hip. I spread my fingers, grazing the smooth skin where her top has slid up. My pinky dips under the top of her skirt, and what do you know, no panties. I lean in, brushing my nose against her neck, making my way up to her ear. I notice her pulse quicken.
“You wanna get out of here?”
She turns to face me, trailing her finger down my chest down to the bulge forming in my jeans. “I thought you’d never ask.”
We say goodbye to her friends, and with my arm around her shoulders, we make our way back inside to search out Kyler. As we pass her redheaded friend—Whitney, was it?—she follows us with a potent stare, causing Becca to flip her off. We finally find Ky chatting with a large group of people. Good, he won’t mind if I roll out.
“Hey, we’re going to head out.”
Ky turns around and looks at Becca and then back at me. “Okay, cool. Was wondering where you went off to—now I see. You good?”
His face visibly shows that he was sorry for bringing up the sensitive subject, even though it wasn’t on him; he was just curious.
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, man.” I hold up my knuckles and bump his fist.
“You two enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“Oh, I plan to.” I wink at Becca, and she giggles, just like the rest of them.
Man, some days it’s just too easy. All I have to do is look at them, flash that sexy smirk, and they are like putty in my hands. Maybe Em had a point—easy pussy will eventually get old, perhaps, but for now, I’ll let my dick do the talking. I grab her hand and lead her to the front door.
Once outside, she looks up at me. “Your place or mine?”
Knowing that I no longer have someone there to help me escape and kick these women out of my apartment as Emmett and Dani had so many times, I instantly say, “Yours.”
That’ll make for a simple getaway afterward while she is asleep.
That is the last thing we say before we are back at her dorm and she is screaming my name.
Every time I pass my brother’s room, I expect him to whip the door open and tell me to get lost and stop eavesdropping. He may have been one of my best friends, but we still fought as siblings do. I would give anything to have him shove the door in my face one more time or pinch my nose as he walked past me, something he did since we were kids. It’s the little things like that that you don’t think about—that is, until it’s gone.
I push those thoughts to the side as I jog down the stairs. I pass the living room on my way to the front door where I see my mom sitting with a photo of my brother in her lap. Most days, this is where I find her. Some days Kelly will come over and just sit with her or try to get her out of the house, anything to remind her that she isn’t alone in this. Something I wish my own best friend could do. Dani has been slipping more and more away from me—from all of us actually. She very rarely answers my call or returns my texts.
I grab my keys off the table by the door.
“I’m headed out, Mom. I’ll be back later.”
I look in her direction, and all she does is nod. It breaks my heart a little more to see her like this. She’s still in her pajamas, but I believe she at least showered today. Well, I heard the shower earlier, but I’ve caught her sitting on the bathroom floor before, crying with the shower running, so I can’t say for sure. She used to be so full of light. Her smile always brightened the room. You always knew when she was in the kitchen, her own happy place, because you could hear the music playing throughout with her singing along as she cooked. Now I wonder how she even gets herself out of bed.
I walk out the door and feel the cool March breeze as I make my way to my car. I take a deep breath before starting it, only one destination on my mind. Turning out of the driveway, I pass the Jacobses’ house and see Dani’s SUV in the driveway, where it always is unless she is at school. We used to spend all of our time together—well, that is, when she wasn’t with my brother. Now she tries to avoid me as if being around me brings her pain. I thought it was us against the world.
I think about how our lives might be different had my brother not died, but I can’t dwell on things I can’t change. I think that might be one thing that separates me from my best friend. If, at the beginning of the school year, you had asked me how I imagined my senior year, I would have told you my plans included Katy Perry dance parties with Dani, visiting my brother in Philly, attending lacrosse games, and hanging out in downtown Annapolis. I wanted to spend as much time with my friends as possible before we all went our separate ways. I did not plan to attend the University of Pennsylvania with Dani, Emmett, and Zach. My dream was to send me to the west coast and attend the University of Southern California to study psychology. I had wanted to be a Trojan since I was young. We visited the campus once while on vacation, and I fell in love.
However, Mother Nature decided to derail all of our plans. Instead of enjoying senior year, I’m getting by each day with the bare minimum while trying to hold myself and my family together. Dealing with the loss of my brother essentially alone, since my best friend is being consumed by her grief more and more each day, has been anything but easy.
I pull through the gates at Glen Ridge Cemetery, a place that seems to be becoming my home away from home. As I turn onto the hill near where my brother is buried, I see a Jeep parked, and my breath catches. Tears fill my eyes. I recognize the Broadneck Bruins Lacrosse and Baltimore Ravens stickers, and while I wish it were my brother’s vehicle there, I know that it is none other than his best friend. What is he doing here?
I park behind him and slowly make my way to Emmett’s grave. I stop in my tracks and don’t know whether I should continue walking or turn around. I see