“Haylee.” His tone is firm. “Don’t give me that bullshit. I get that enough from my sister when I know damn well she is anything but fine. I want you to be honest with me. Speaking of which, did you see my sister at all while you were there?”
Honest? Does he want to know how bad I’m struggling to keep it together? No, I refuse to go down that path right now. Finally reaching my car, I sit in the driver’s seat for a few moments, leaving the vehicle shut off.
“Honestly, I just want the day to be over. That’s how I feel. Honestly, I want to have a day where it doesn’t hurt so much to breathe. I want to talk to my best friend—fuck, I want to talk to my brother. But I can’t, and I have to wake up tomorrow and start the day all over again. Is that honest enough for you?”
Unsure how to respond or shocked by my honesty, Zach stays silent. Neither of us says anything, so I decide to break the silence first.
“Any plans for while you’re home?”
“Dani asked me to hang out a bit, which is weird—I mean, in a good way. Maybe she’s coming around. I don’t know. I’ll take whatever time with my sister I can get. Any plans for you?”
I wince at his comment. Yeah, I would take whatever time I could get with her too. So much for me and her against the world.
“Umm…not really. I was thinking of having a bonfire in the backyard. It’s been a while and only so much time I’m at home left, so thought why not.”
“Huh. That’d be cool.”
“Yeah, I think so too.”
“Well, I better finish up and get to class; my break is about over. See you later this weekend?”
“Yeah, sure. Bye, Zach.”
“Bye.”
We’ve been through so much that sometimes it just overwhelms us all. I know he means well, but I wish that he would just let me breathe for a bit. Big decisions and emotions are not my besties these days; then again, my own best friend isn’t really my bestie either. But Zach had a point—that has to mean something that Dani wanted to hang out with him. Graduation is quickly approaching, and our time is winding down, even though I have no clue what she’s planning to do next since deferring college in the fall. Maybe she is finally ready to take a step in the right direction, and I can get my best friend back.
Sitting out by the bonfire in my parents’ backyard, I am happy to have seen this week end. Only two more weeks left of school. After talking with Kelly, I finally made my decision. I even had the courage to discuss it with my parents last night. Like Kelly said, they were happy either way; they wanted what was best for me and not them. The golden and orange glow from the fire lights up around my acceptance letter to USC. “Congratulations.” I read that line over and over.
My attention diverts to the rustling of the bushes on the side of the house, and I quickly fold up the letter. I jump to my feet when a shadow emerges from the darkness, but my fast-beating heart begins to calm down when I see that it’s only Zach.
Clutching my chest, I yell, “Were you trying to give me a heart attack?!”
He throws his hands up innocently before placing them back in his pockets. “Sorry. I guess force of habit, just walking around the side like that.”
I settle back in my chair. “What are you doing here?”
“Dani fell asleep early watching a movie, so I just thought I would check in on things.”
“You don’t have to do that, you know.”
He nods, but I have known him my whole life—he is not letting up at all and will continue to be a pain in my ass. He takes a seat in the open chair right next to me.
I turn my attention to the folded-up acceptance letter to USC that’s in my hands.
“What’s that?” Zach tries to grab it out of my hands, but I pull back.
“It’s nothing.” I take a deep breath. “I mean, it was something, but it’s not anymore.”
I crumple it up and toss it into the fire. I know that the decision was my own and that I could have still gone, but honestly, my life is here. I can’t just up and leave my parents, and Dani especially, after all we’ve been through recently. Sticking around will be good for me, I think.
“Well, we’ve got some celebrating to do.” I push to my feet, feeling a little anxious over my decision.
Zach looks over at me, confused. “We do?”
I nod. “Yep. Looks like I’ll be joining you in the fall at UPenn.”
“What!” Zach jumps to his feet and pulls me into a hug, lifting me off the ground. “That’s awesome!” He quickly puts me down, and it finally hits him. “Wait, what about USC?”