Would she be driven insane? Forced to replay their final farewell over and over for the rest of her life as punishment for being disloyal to her mistress?
Fate can't have intended this, she thought, clutching her chest as she lost her battle with fighting tears and began to sob uncontrollably. If this had been supposed to happen then fate was not for the lucky, fate only cared about punishing people.
Unable to hold herself up any longer, Fleur collapsed onto a bench in a shadowed alcove around the corner from the king's study. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned forward and tucked her knees up, attempting to shield herself from the pain that was tearing her heart in two.
Nothing had ever been this painful. Even when she had fallen and broken her leg while learning to fly she had not experienced intolerable pain like this. The gut wrenching sobs were her only outlet and they tore through her body like they might never stop.
How am I to get on a boat when I cannot even move from this spot? she wondered but she knew what would happen if Delilah caught her still in the palace past dawn. She did not know the exact punishment but she was sure that guards would be involved. Likely she would be dragged from the palace to the docks and thrown onto a boat in chains or worse. She might have her wings broken and be thrown from the nearest cliff.
Once she had thought that Delilah was her friend but now she knew the truth. She was just like every other noble and she would come up with some brilliantly grim way of ending her or making her suffer.
I only hope she's not like her mother. Fleur grimaced remembering how Delilah's mother had been known for stripping servants of their wings whenever they displeased her. It was one of the reasons why she and Delilah had never dared to get on the wrong side of her. As she had grown older, Fleur had wondered whether the rumors were made up just to get them to behave but after seeing how angry and violent Delilah had become, she wouldn't put anything past either of them. Mother and daughter were alike in both appearance and personality. She could only imagine that Delilah had inherited her mother's temper also.
"Fleur, whatever is the matter?" The voice was that of a concerned friend but when Fleur looked up she felt her entire body go ice cold. Her sobbing instantly stopped when she saw Delilah glaring down at her.
With head held high, wearing one of her finest silken dresses, Delilah looked as though she was about to attend her coronation while Fleur knew that she looked as though she wasn't fit to mop the floor.
"Oh, wait, I just remembered." Delilah chuckled maliciously. "I don't care."
Numbness began to creep over Fleur then. It was as if her mind and body could take no more, as if a switch had been flipped to stop her from feeling anything at all. She stared up at Delilah wondering how she had ever believed that they could be friends.
"Have you done what I asked?" Delilah demanded, her voice turning cold. Her eyes, like chips of ice, sliced at her face but Fleur could not bring herself to look away.
Why do you think I am in this state? Instead of saying the words out loud, she simply gave a brief nod.
"Then be off with you. You'll find a carriage waiting in the courtyard," Delilah snapped. She did not move until Fleur finally removed herself from the bench. She watched the lady walk away around the corner, headed in the direction of Theo's private chambers.
There is nothing more I can do here, Fleur told herself, turning in the opposite direction. Determined to put some distance between herself, the man she loved and the woman she had once believed to be her friend, she hurried for the courtyard.
Where else was there to go but home? Thinking of that made her stop dead in her tracks. Without Delilah as her mistress she had no home, no job, no anything. She did not even own the clothes on her back.
I'll go back to the mainland, she told herself, beginning to walk again. At least there I can start fresh.
She did not allow herself to think of the fact that while her heart belonged to King Theo, she could never start fresh.
***
Although the docks were much smaller than the ones they had set out from on the mainland, they were certainly just as busy if not busier than she could have imagined. Even before her carriage arrived, she could hear the clamor through the open window. A gentle breeze ruffled the green satin drapes and brought the sound of raised voices to her ears.
The carriage came to an abrupt halt, almost sending her reeling off the bench and onto her knees. She just managed to stop herself, gripping hold of the edge of the window for support.
"Driver? What is going on?" she called even as she crouched and poked her head out through the window.
The noise only grew louder and she glanced in the direction of the docks to find that her carriage had stopped half-way down the road that cut directly down to the docks. Ahead there were carts, carriages, free riders and even pedestrians all stopped from entering the docks.
"Turn around and go home!" yelled a man dressed in the green uniform of the royal fae guard and a feeling of dread settled into Fleur's stomach. "No boats will be leaving today. Go home and come back tomorrow!"
Angry voices yelled back at him in a rough common tongue, demanding to know why their business had been stopped and Fleur realized that many of the people out on the road were sailors, fishermen and their wives, dock workers and tradespeople. There didn't appear to be a single nobleman or royal among them. The carriage she sat in appeared to be the most ornate and for a moment she was fearful.
"The king has ordered that no boat be allowed to depart until further notice!" another royal guard announced, struggling to be heard over the angry men and women who had begun to throw things at him and his companions.
Is this my fault? Guilt clutched Fleur's heart like fingers made of iron. Had the king done this just to stop her from being able to leave?
She was contemplating what to do when her driver poked his head down from the bench where he sat atop the carriage. "Miss Fleur, what would you have me do?"
She gave one final glance in the direction of the docks before sucking in a deep breath.
"Do you wish for me to take you back to the palace?" he asked when she remained silent.