“Always, but I like the pain. It … is like a release. My stress is gone after about an hour.” His fingers curl around my hand and he pulls my arm up to kiss the inside of my wrist. “You have a tattoo. Don’t you remember?”
“It was quick.” I feel my face heat up as he reminds me of the flower just under my breast. So few people have seen it and I can barely see it most of the time. It’s easy to forget. “I’m surprised you remember.”
“I remember everything you tell me and show me, pet,” He hums. “What are you making us?”
God, it’s such a normal question, like we’re playing house. Like he’s just a guy who likes me, not some … I close my eyes and take an unsteady breath. This desire is sick. Just wanting him is bad enough, but that split moment when he had me against the window and I hoped that Hunter or Chase would see and come to join … I’m so fucking twisted. And I can’t even turn it off. Because I want them despite every logical thing I know.
“Valerie?”
“Schnitzel,” I murmur. “I’m making schnitzel.”
“I will teach you a dish next time I’m here.”
“You cook?” I ask, peeking at him over my shoulder.
“Of course. I am an adult. I enjoy being able to feed myself.” The corner of his mouth lifts ever so slightly, but for Lief, that’s huge.
I’ve learned to watch for the little things.
We eat together and I try to focus entirely on my food. But when he turns my chin to face him and strokes under my bottom lip, I’m ready to go for round two. Instead, my brain just empties my logical thoughts into my mouth because apparently, I can’t control it.
“You guys need to respect my boundaries. I’m safe in my apartment. You already made sure of it.”
“Valerie,” He tries.
I take his empty plate and my half-finished one to the kitchen. I need space from him if I’m going to be able to talk. “I mean it, Lief. I’m buying thick black-out curtains tomorrow. I’m going to put them up and never open them. And if I eventhinkthere’s a camera in here, I’ll become the biggest pain in the ass you’ve ever had.”
He follows me to the kitchen and kisses my forehead.
“Don’t be all soft and sweet with me so you can get your way. That’s not how this works. I’m not a prisoner.”
“You’re not,” He agrees, nose brushing mine. “You’re our biggest weakness.”
“Oh, thanks.” I roll my eyes.
“It is a compliment, Valerie,” He says as a matter of fact. “I was afraid for you. Iamafraid for you when I am home or working and can’t reach out to you. All I want is to keep you safe and happy.”
He cups my face between his hands. “But I’d recommend two layers of curtains.”
I huff, but can’t resist stroking down his chest. I don’t like this conversation. Not if I can’t win. And his body is so much better to focus on. Muscled, and thick, the beautiful tattoos he has decorating his pale skin.
“Why Vikings all over you?” I ask finally, trying to focus on something normal.
“They excited me growing up. I studied mythology in college as my minor. Norse tales were always my favorite. Something about being terrifying without having to raise a weapon, about sailing into the unknown sure that they’d find something … it affects me.”
“I heard Vikings were better to their women than some cultures. Letting them control finances. Allowing divorce if the man got too rough.”
“Yes.”
“That women fought in battles too.” My eyes raise to his.
“Valerie,” He strokes down my arms, then holds my wrist up so I can see it. It’s still healing. “I don’t want anything to happen to you again.”
“Then teach me how to avoid it. You’re good at fighting. Teach me to be, Lief. Stop watching and start doing.”
No is all over his face. So, even though I hate doing it, I pull myself away. If they’re not willing to give an inch, then I’m going to have to figure out how to restrain myself around them. I have to block out all those amazing orgasmic memories and focus on my future and my wants.
“Did you get enough to eat?”