***
After setting me on the bed, he takes his sweater off, revealing his gorgeous upper body, making my mouth water. I’m trying to tune out my thoughts, to focus on now, on feeling good for a little while.
If I were alone, I’d probably search for joy in that to-go dessert container, but since I’m not alone, I’m thinking I can find a moment without pain under the ministrations of the shifter sex god. And then have the cheesecake later.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I swallow down a lump of pain and try to sound convincing. “I’m fine.”
“Amelia,” he says softly.
I shake my head. “Talking is overrated. You know what’s not? Fucking.” I lick my lips slowly, deliberately.
He sits on the edge of the bed. “Talk to me.” He looks far too serious.
I get up onto my knees and reach for his fly. He catches my wrist.
“You want my cock, you can talk to me first.”
“I don’t want your cock. Forget it,” I scowl, then storm into the bathroom and slam the door.
38
Mason
As I hear the shower turn on, I’m assaulted with an onslaught of emotion. As if the emotions I was feeling from her have quadrupled in intensity. After hurrying into the bathroom, I find her in the shower, doubled over.
She’s sobbing. Hands over her face. Body trembling.
Pain shunts through my veins at the sight of this. This hurts me. I need to take it away, protect her, make her happy, erase whatever this is. Take this pain away from the both of us because I feel it as acutely as if it’s mine. I want to take it with my teeth and rip it to shreds so it can’t hurt her anymore.
Fuck. I knew this was messy, the fears and doubts plaguing her, but it feels like they’ve hit a new level. I quickly strip the rest of my clothes off and climb in with her, pulling her close.
She looks into my eyes and the pain in her features seize my chest. She drags her gaze away and stares at the drain.
“Go away,” she pleads.
“What’s wrong?”
I want to fix it, whatever it is.
I purr for her, helping her melt into me as the water pounds down on both of us. I do this for a good few minutes before I finally tip her chin up and stop purring.
“Tell me.”
Her face contorts, like she’s in agony.
“Amelia. Fucking tell me!” I demand.
She startles at this and looks at me with fear.
I purr some more, pulling her cheek to my chest.
“Tell me,” I then repeat, caressing her head. “Please, please tell me. Whatever it is, I can help. I promise I can help if you just open up. I’m your mate. I’m here for you. Whatever happens. Whatever has already happened, baby… I’m here.”
She looks up at me with unguarded pain stamped on her face.
I stroke her cheek.
“I can’t give you what you deserve,” she whimpers.
“What?”
She sobs harder, burying her face in my chest, clinging like she can’t get close enough, like she wants to climb under my skin.
“Explain this to me,” I murmur against the top of her head.
“I can’t… even if this thing with us were meant to be, it’s not. It’s just not.”
“Baby… I don’t understand what you’re saying. It is. I know it’s meant to be.” I squeeze her close, revving up the purring.
“It can’t be. That wouldn’t be fair to you. If this were true, if this were really meant to be, you’d be getting ripped off.”
Ripped off?
“Because?”
“Because if I’m what you get, then poor you.”
“Amelia, explain. Try.”
“I can’t… can’t have children.” Her eyes dart up to me, filled with fear.
I stare.
She looks like she’s waiting for something. For me to say something, do something. For the world to explode. She’s braced.
I do nothing but wait.
She frowns and tries to pull away, but I hold tight and continue to look her in the eyes.
This pain that I see and feel from her physically hurts me. I fucking hate this. I knew the bond with my mate would be unbreakable, would be important, but I never knew it would hurt so much to see another person feel pain.
“I have an ovulation disorder,” she declares, then swallows with pain etched into her features.
“And you think that’s why this can’t be real? Because all I care about is having my own broodmare?”
She flinches. I cup her jaw in both palms.
“Is that what you think?” I demand.
She chokes on a sob, shrugging. I haven’t known her long but based on everything so far, never would’ve expected to see such an extreme opposite to the confident woman I’ve known so far.
“Amie… if fate has us being parents, that’s what we’ll be. If fate has us being the best damn aunt and uncle there ever was to your sister’s kids, it’ll be that.” My thumbs skim across her cheekbones, dashing the tears away even though the shower continues to pour over us. “If a stork sets a baby on the doorstep or we decide to look for one that has a kid that needs a family and we succeed – we’ll know that’s the plan.”