The fog that he had cast over me dissipated. My rage caught up to me in that moment, a tornado of anger and grief swirling around me as his words sank into my bones. How the fuck did he know I was looking for Da’s cloak? I did not take his outstretched hand. Instead I stepped forward and pushed him back. My vision was red as my breathing quickened. His face flashed with surprise. “What did you do to him?” I continued shoving him back down the cliff’s plateau. He easily had almost a foot on me and I knew my blows did little, but he still retreated a bit with every push. I was screaming. “What happened to it?!” His jaw clenched.
“I did not hurt your father, okay?” He cut me off, grabbing my wrists, his voice raising and his head stooping to meet my searing gaze. “I saw him that night, you know. I saw him walking. And I was there when that girl brought you to the beach to see him.” His eyes almost welled as he blinked furiously. “You have no reason to believe me, but I did not touch him.”
I opened my mouth to protest, to scream at him, but I couldn’t. A small part of me believed him. Or at least a small part of mewantedto believe him. And that small part had begun to govern my actions.
I stood in his grasp staring up at this strange man. The sun from the east shone behind him, illuminating his short dark hair like a halo. The sea breeze lifted the shaggy strands, setting them dancing across his forehead. The concern and sincerity in his eyes made something pool in my gut, though I’m not sure what it was.
“I meant what I said, Petra.Be careful.” The words fell from his lips with such intention that I swore I could feel them clang against the inside of my skull. I nodded and he released my wrists. Without another word, he turned away.
I stood in the wind and the grass and the salty air, my head left swimming in the harbor.
“Wait!” I yelled. I’m not sure what possessed me to call out to him as he walked back toward the city, but the word flew from my mouth before I could stop it. Calomyr halted, half-turning back toward me. “I have questions for you.” I marched toward him, aware of how small I must have looked considering his towering height.
He looked past me, to the harbor. Worry creased his eyes as he turned his gaze down toward where I stood in front of him. “I’m afraid I cannot answer them.” The smoke in his voice was upsettingly tempting, feelings of warmth colliding with feelings of grief in the pit of my stomach.
I leaned closer to him with each question, my finger jamming into his chest. “How do you know that’s what I’m looking for? Why is that something you’d notice?” I pressed. He drew in a deep breath, trouble written across his features as the wheels of his mind turned, grinding against each other. He simply shook his head. “Why?”
“It’s a part of my job,” he murmured.
“And what, pray tell, is your job?” I stabbed a pointed finger into his chest.
“I’m... I’m in the Royal Guard.” He was visibly uncomfortable, squeezing the back of his neck.
I scoffed. “The Royal Guard?” He nodded, his gaze still distant. Impossible. He was far too young. “How and why the fuck does the Royal Guard know what happened to my father?”
“I was there after Cindregala too, you know,” he blurted. My brows furrowed. “The day your sister died. And I did my job then, too. Tried to figure out what went wrong. Tried to figure out if there was any threat to Eserene.” My nostrils flared. “Cigar,” he confirmed.
“That doesn’t explain why you know anything about my father’s cloak.”
“I need you to trust me.” I searched his face, thinking of a thousand reasons I shouldn’t trust him. Something in the back of my mind caught my attention when he spoke — a tiny shimmer ofsomethingthat told me to trust him. “Do you trust me?”
“No!” I spat, my gaze falling to the thick grass. “Why the hell would I trust you?” I could see words begin to form on his lips before dissolving into silence. His pupils dilated and constricted as his mind ran a mile a minute. “What?”I seethed.
“One day, I will tell you everything,” he said quietly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“One day, Petra, I will tell you everything. I swear in the presence of the Saints that I will tell you everything.” My veins turned to ice.
“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, Calomyr. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what to do with these bits and pieces of the truth.”
“I’d like to show you something,” he breathed. “Come with me.”
I planted my feet firmly in place and crossed my arms. “Absolutely fuckin’ not.”
“Please,” he said.
Da’s face flashed in my mind, his warm smile, his kind hazel eyes. Calomyr knew a lot more than he let on, all of which I was determined to find out. “Where?”
He flashed a smile that was heartbreakingly beautiful, full of every answer I needed but he wouldn’t — or couldn’t — give me. “You’ll see.”
And somewhere in the hurricane of raw grief and confusion that thundered in my brain, I told myself that if I followed him, he’d give me what I needed.
???
“You’re out of your damned mind,” I snapped, assessing the narrow path that butted up against a tiny inlet in the cliffs I didn’t know existed. We were on the western side of the cliffs with only the sound of the wind and each other. I shook my head for emphasis.
“I swear to you I won’t let anything happen.” He was below me on the steep decline, one foot propped on a small boulder.