CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Roland began to look at me funny around Miley’s third month in Sageburg, which was right around the time I was planning on having a dinner so that he could meet her. I remember the conversation going something like this . . .
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked him as we ate breakfast. I had looked up and he was staring at me, head cocked, hazel eyes slightly narrowed.
“Like what?”
“Like I have something on my face,” I said, then laughed as I wiped my cheek.
“Nothing’s on your face. But clearly there’s a lot on your mind.”
“What do you mean?”
Then I remember him saying, “I feel like you aren’t telling me something, Mel.”
“What?” I asked, ignoring the tugging in my gut.
“I checked your bank statements.” He placed his fork down.
“Okay?”
“And it says you’ve been making monthly payments to Stone Creek Apartments. Wanna tell me about that?”
I didn’t think he’d look through my bank statements. Roland and I had separate accounts, but he still had full access to mine, as I did his. We just liked it that way. He’d transfer money into my account and that was that. I never felt the need to check his transactions unless it came down to taxes or to inform Jeff, our accountant, about something, and he never asked about or checked mine either . . . until now.
“I’m going to ask this as calmly as possible, and I want you to be honest with me, Mel. You’ve been so absent lately, coming home late, not answering your phone, and whenever you do, you always sound like you’re too busy to talk to me.” He inhaled before exhaling and I braced myself for the backlash. If he’d gone through my transactions, surely he’d found out about Miley. “Are you cheating on me?”
“What?” I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Cheating on you—Roland, what kind of question is that? How could you think that?”
“Well, it would explain all of what’s been going on with you lately,” he snapped, and his jaw clenched.
“I—what? No—I am not cheating on you! Why would I ever do that?”
He looked down at his plate. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. Then he peered back up. “That’s why I’m asking. I know I’m not home much. And sometimes I have issues communicating . . .”
“Baby, no.” I pushed out of my chair and walked around the table to sit on his lap. “Are you kidding me? No.”
“So, then what is it, Mel? I feel like you aren’t here with me anymore—that your mind is somewhere else.”
I sighed as he tightened his arms around me. “I . . . ” I studied his face—his hazel eyes. I had to tell him . . . but telling him was going to make my unstable world collide with my secure world and the thought of it already gave me anxiety.
But he was my husband and I didn’t want him having any doubts about our marriage or have him thinking I was having an affair, so I told him all about Miley and how she’d first come to Sageburg to visit while he was away for a work trip. I told him about the apartment I’d bought her and how I visited her every day and during some nights. It all made sense to him, but of course he asked, “Why didn’t you just tell me all of this in the beginning?”
“Because, Roland, my sister . . . she’s not okay. I mean, she has a fun personality, but she has a lot of problems. She’s very unstable.”
“Wow. Didn’t even know you had a sister. What else are you hiding from me?” he asked jokingly.
“Nothing.” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
“I’d like to meet her.”
I figured that was coming too. “That can be arranged.”
“Okay.” He smiled, but the smile didn’t meet his eyes. It was almost like he still didn’t believe me about Miley—that he needed confirmation with her physical presence.
“I’ll have Yadira make us a dinner,” I said. “But I’m warning you, Roland. Miley has no filter. And she knows you have a lot of money, so don’t let her throw any kind of pity stories at you to feed into them. She has an addiction problem. Before she came here she was in and out of rehab. She seems better now, but . . . I have a feeling it won’t last.”
“Ah. Have a little faith.” He grabbed my chin and smiled at me. “And I know how to handle an addict. My father? Remember?”
“Yeah.” I got off his lap and he stood, carrying his plate to the sink.
“I’m gonna go practice for a little. Dinner tonight?” he asked, on his way to the mudroom.
“Yeah. Tonight.”
The following night, I told Yadira to hide the valuables and anything that could be pawned or sold. I know it was extreme, but I really couldn’t trust my sister with things like this. She’d stolen from me before and it broke my heart. My mother had given Miley and me matching gold necklaces. It was the only thing my mother had ever given us that meant something to me, and that said a lot considering I practically hated my mother. She’d put me through a lot of shit, but that necklace had been given to me on one of our mom’s good days and it meant something to me. I cherished it. Miley took mine and sold both necklaces for a baggie of coke. I still haven’t completely forgiven her for that.