He nodded. “That’s true.”
“I love you,” I said. “And I want to be with you. I also want to make you happy. I can tell this mansion brings you joy so, if being in Colorado is where you feel happiest, then I’ll go with you. I’ll go anywhere with you.”
I’d never seen him smile so big. I’d made him happy, despite feeling a little nervous about the whole idea. He kissed me, we shared another bottle of red wine, and he talked about how beautiful the snow was in Sageburg during the winter, and with winter coming, he’d take me to explore the city on a snowy night. After we celebrated by drinking more and turning on some music, he took me to the bedroom and we made love several times that night.
But I admit that when I woke up and the drinks had worn off, I started second-guessing the idea of leaving the only place I had family and friends, to be alone with him in Colorado. I was going to be with him in the mansion that he used to share with his now dead wife. He’d told me that was where they lived and that he never sold the place—that he felt connected to it.
To anyone on the outside looking in, they would have called me a fool. And perhaps I was a fool—a fool in love. I don’t even know why I loved Roland, or why we were moving so fast, but I did. And though sometimes it didn’t feel right to be going at such a fast pace, I couldn’t say no to him. There was something about him that intrigued me, lured me in. Whether it was fast or not, I needed this. I had no place to stay and no job, and he was willing to provide it all for me. There was no way I was going to reject it.
It only took one morning kiss and Roland’s hands on my hips for me to forget about my doubts and worries and realize that I would be okay in his hands.
He was willing to give me everything I ever wanted.
All I had to do was become brave enough to take it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I had never traveled outside of Florida. I’d lived in Miami my whole life, born and raised. I’d always endured long, hot summers and hasty winters that we couldn’t even really call winter.
To know that all of my things were being sent off to another state—a state that was a thirty-one-hour drive away (yes, I checked)—was a little daunting. Fortunately, Roland and I were flying to Colorado in first class seats, but I couldn’t stop my mind from churning.
I loved Roland. We hadn’t been together long, but I loved him. And that was also a fact. But what if this was a mistake? What if I should have waited just a little longer? Maybe I should have told Kell. I’d told him that I ended things with Roland, which I did at one point, but I didn’t tell him we picked back up, that I’d moved in with him, and was now engaged to him.
I hadn’t told Shelia that I’d moved in with Roland either. She knew I moved out, but I told her I was temporarily moving in with a friend I used to work with. To her knowledge, I was still crashing with that friend. I’d met Shelia for lunch a week after Roland asked me to marry him and I wanted to tell her all about his proposal, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if she knew Roland’s story and figured he wasn’t innocent? What if she called me crazy for saying yes to his proposal? Insane? A lunatic?
She also knew I was dating someone, but my relationships were never serious, so Shelia most likely assumed I was messing around with some guy I’d met on a dating app.
All of my choices were irrational at best, and yet there I was, sitting next to my soon-to-be husband, embracing this next chapter in my life that I wasn’t one hundred percent certain about.
I mean, of course I wanted to be with him. Sure, I loved his money and his cars and the way he spoiled me. Hell yes, I loved the sex, the candlelit dinners, and our endless conversations. But I was sure there was more to Roland that I didn’t know. And I had a feeling I was going to learn all of it in that mansion.
* * *
When we landed, Roland’s cousin Dylan picked us up from the airport. Dylan was also Roland’s errand boy, according to Roland, though he told me to never call him that. He was also Roland’s caddy.
During the car ride, I’d learned that the two of them had grown up together. Roland was an only child and Dylan had siblings, but he was the youngest of them all and there was a large gap between him and the second youngest, so he wasn’t very close to them. He and Roland were around the same age, and by the way they cracked jokes on each other, I could tell they were practically like brothers. Being around them and all their banter felt good. Roland was much more relaxed than I’d seen him in a long time and I immediately understood why he wanted to come back. This was his happy place.