CHAPTER13
mariella
Iswallowed the bile rising in my throat as I swung my legs over the back of the boat. This should be an easy dive. My parents had taught me how to scuba before I started school. I could prep my gear with my eyes closed. Still, something in me had changed the day they didn’t come back.
“You don’t have to do this, Mariella,” Bryan said.
I’d begged him to bring me out here after Kai left. I had to prove to myself that I could do this. Now, staring down at the water, my chest tightened.
“Just concentrate on your breathing. Your body knows how to do this. Once you get in the water, you’ll remember.” Bryan was like the grumpy grandfather I’d never known since both sets of my grandparents had passed before I could remember them. He managed his campground kingdom with a stern but fair hand. If I didn’t jump in the freaking water, I’d have to add his list to the name of people I’d disappointed. That was almost enough to make me fling my body overboard, but I couldn’t.
A voice crackled over the radio, and Bryan turned his attention away from me. While he headed toward the radio, I looked up at the cloudless sky. It was getting late for a dive. If I wanted to do it, I’d better get my ass in gear.
“Hold up, Mariella. You’ve got a visitor incoming.” Bryan tugged his Kasperson’s cap low over his eyes and looked across the bay.
“What do you mean, a visitor?” The only people I talked to on a regular basis worked at the campground.
“Shyla’s on her way over. Said someone wants to talk to you.” He shrugged.
Shyla had taken a cute older couple out on a private charter this morning. We didn’t usually offer that kind of service, but they were friends of Bryan’s, so he’d made an exception. She wasn’t supposed to be back until late.
“Here they come.” Bryan nodded to the port side of the stern.
I shielded my eyes from the reflection of the sun on the water. Shyla slowed the boat and expertly maneuvered it to pull alongside us.
“What are you doing here?” Moving in my gear felt awkward, but I stood as the boat came closer.
Kai stood from where he’d been seated behind her. My pulse skyrocketed. He’d left. I’d seen him get on the ferry myself.
“Mariella.” He slid his sunglasses away from his eyes and pinned me with his stare. “I choose you.”
My heart lurched, but I held myself in check. “What do you mean? You’re supposed to be on your way to Seattle right now.”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t do it. I made you a promise, and I’m here to see it through.”
“People break promises all the time.” Even when they didn’t mean to. My parents had promised me they’d be back the day they went out on that dive. As much as I wanted to let him in, I wasn’t sure I could risk the heartbreak.
“Not me. I don’t want to be that guy.” He moved closer to the edge of the boat. Close enough that I could see the emotion in his eyes.
I didn’t trust him. How could I when he’d walked away? “What kind of guy do you want to be, then?”
“I want to beyourguy. I can’t promise you forever, but I can promise you whatever time I’m lucky enough to have on this earth is all yours.” His hands gripped the edge of the boat and his gaze didn’t waver. Either he was one hell of an actor, or he meant what he was saying.
“You left me.” Tears threatened, but I forced them back. I was tired of crying, tired of feeling sad. I wanted to believe him, but his actions had shown me everything I needed to know.
“I know, beautiful.” His voice deepened. “That’s the first and last time I’m ever going to do something so fucking stupid.”
I shifted my gaze from Kai to Shyla. She lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “What are you going to do, Mar? Don’t tell me I wasted all that gas bringing this fool back to you for you to reject him.”
“Will you let me explain?” Kai asked.
“I can hear you from there.” I wasn’t ready to forgive him. Not yet. But I’d give him the chance to explain. Even if I never saw him again, he’d given me something last night that he probably didn’t realize—hope.
He glanced over at a couple cuddled together on the bench behind him before turning his gaze back to me. “I fucked up. I’ve been working toward getting in with that group for over a year, so when the call came, I was afraid to turn them down. They’re not known for giving out second chances.”
I shook my head. He didn’t need to tell me this. I’d told him to go for it. I didn’t want to stand in the way of him going after his dreams.
“You should have gone.”