CHAPTER11
mariella
Iwaited in front of the restaurant, eager to set eyes on Kai again. I’d spent the past two years running away from my problems, but he’d made me realize I didn’t have to be afraid anymore. With his help, I wanted to face down my fear. When he went out to take photos of the Emerald Princess today, I was going to dive with him.
Thanks to the wide trunk of a cedar tree, I saw him before he caught sight of me. He had on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not what I expected for an afternoon of diving.
“Hey,” I called out. “Did you decide you’re too tired to dive this afternoon?”
Instead of shooting back a smile and a smart-ass remark, he glanced up. “I got a call about a last-minute job in Seattle for tomorrow. I’m sorry, Mariella, but I need to go. This could be my big break, and I’ve been trying to find a way to get in with this outfit for over a year.”
“Oh.” The blood drained from my face, leaving my cheeks cold and numb. “Of course.”
“I’m sorry. I can come back next week.” He reached up and stroked my cheek with his hand.
“Yeah, okay.” My jaw clenched. I thought I’d finally found someone who’d be willing to stick by me. All the things he said to me the night before flooded through my mind. Had he meant any of it?
“Are you okay?” Concern furrowed his brow.
“Of course.” I made myself snap out of it. What had I expected? That some gorgeous man would swoop in, realized I was the woman of his dreams, and rescue me from myself? My life wasn’t some kind of fairytale. There was no brave prince waiting in the wings to save me, no knight in shining armor to battle my demons for me.
“I’ve got to make this ferry if I want to catch my flight. Can I call you tonight?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “After what we’ve been through together, I can’t believe I didn’t think to get your number until now.”
I stared at the phone he held out in front of me. No good would come from us staying in touch. Whether he came back next week or not, I’d eventually lose him. I didn’t need to set myself up for any more grief in my life. I thought he was the one—the one person I could count on to be there for me. That was silly and naïve. People didn’t stick around. Sometimes they left, and sometimes they were stolen away too soon.
Either way, the only person I could count on to be there for me was me. I could see that now.
“You know what? I think maybe we had our time and trying to make more out of it than it was would just be a waste.” I shrugged.
“But last night…” he started.
“Last night was great. Thanks for dinner, and, well, the rest.” I thrust my hand at him, figuring a handshake would be the best way to end things. “Good luck with your job. If you come back to get shots of the Emerald Princess, I’m sure the guys down at the Backwater Dive Shop would be more than happy to take you out.”
“So that’s it, then?” He towered over me, his eyes guarded.
“Yeah, I think that’s how it needs to be.”
“Mariella—”
“Goodbye, Kai.” I couldn’t stand there and fight the tears that threatened. I whipped around and forced myself to walk at a steady pace. The weight of his stare tempted me to turn back, but I wouldn’t give in. I’d spent too long being afraid. Being with Kai hadn’t turned out how I’d hoped, but our time together had taught me one thing… I’d spent long enough nursing my wounds and hiding from my fears.
I ducked into my cabin and closed the door behind me. Leaning up against it, I let the tears fall.