“But you,” I continue. “How can I not?” My voice is quiet, almost a whisper. “You’ve been there for me whenever I’ve needed you. It’s more than friendship with you.”
“So, you like... wanna be my boyfriend too or...?”
“God, babe, you're really bad at this.” Axel laughs.
“Fuck off!” She glares at him. “You know this is all new to me. I knew the others wanted me for a while before I accepted their feelings.”
“You're right, I’m sorry.” Axel says, giving her a smile.
“What I feel for you both is strong, it consumes my heart and soul. The idea of not having both of you in my life terrifies me to the point that I don’t know if I want to be here if it’s not with you. And by here I don’t mean this house.”
They say nothing, allowing me to continue.
“But being with me, it’s not going to be like being with the others. I’m not... as much as the idea of being intimate with you guys pleases me, it’s just not something I’m sure I’ll be able to do.” I cast my eyes down in shame.
“Hey,” Axel says, his deep voice sends shivers down my spine as he carefully puts his finger under my chin to lift it up. “You don’t have to have sex with us for us to love you. We could never be with you in that way, and it wouldn’t affect our feelings. We still want you for you, not what you can offer us sexually.”
“I agree with him,” Harlow says. “I don’t want you for your body, I want you for you. Your kind heart, your loving soul, and the way you are with my daughter. You already stole a piece of me.” She smiles at me. I’m used to this Harlow, but the guys? It’s new for them. A part of me feels special that I got this part of her before they did.
“So what does this mean? What about the others?” I ask while chewing on my lip, my body humming with nerves.
Harlow moves on the bed until she’s sitting in front of me, face to face. “It means we love you, and we want to be more than just friends with you. If that’s something you want as well, we’ll take things at your pace and always do what you’re comfortable with, no less, no more. As for the others.” She shrugs. “I don’t think they would mind. Evie seems like she’s on board. As for Cass and Dean, I think as long as you treat me right, they’ll be cool.” She winks.
“I’d always treat you right.” I grab her hand, lacing it with mine. “And honestly, as much as they scare me, it’s not them who have me worried the most.”
“Neo,” Axel says with a nod, then looks to Harlow. “I will kill him if he hurts Sam, you know that right?” he warns her, his voice a growl, and my heart skips a beat at his protectiveness towards me. I can’t help the smile that twitches at my lip, looking over at the viking of a man who’s stolen my heart.
“And you think I won’t?” Harlow glares at Axel.
“He’s your favorite little pet,” Axel says back in a joking manner, but I can see the hurt in his eyes at his truth.
Harlow’s face softens. “I don’t love Neo any more than I love any of the rest of you. You all mean something to me and offer me different things. We all have a bond that is just ours. Neo was the one out of all of you who was least likely to hurt me. I do admit I gravitated more towards him for a while, but Queenie loved his crazy. I mean, so do I, but you know Queenie.” She gives him a savage grin, but Axel’s face doesn't change.
“We just started our story. Give it some time, and I promise I’ll do my best to make you feel as valid in my heart as the others, okay?”
Axel looks at her a moment before nodding. “Same goes to you.” She turns to me, glaring at me before grinning. “So, you really like me?” she asks me skeptically, like she can’t fathom why I would.
“No. I don’t like you Harlow, I love you,” I tell her with certainty.
“Okay. So here’s the deal. All this, what we’re talking about... it’s making me feel all these lovey dovey feelings, and I don’t know what to do with it all. My skin is starting to itch.” She laughs. “I’m gonna talk to Neo and the others. By tomorrow morning, everything should be peachy. And if it’s not, we’ll talk about it.” She looks away and shudders. “When did I become so... adult when it comes to my feelings?”
Axel lets out a booming laugh. “It’s called growth, babe. How does it feel being one of us mere mortals?”
“I’m still testing the waters on that one,” she mutters before looking back at me. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow if you need to, but as for all this, it's new for me too. Let's just do what feels right and go with the flow?”
I nod my head. “I’d like that.” I may sound all rational on the outside, but right now I’m a mess. I was so certain that I was gonna lose them both, be kicked to the curb and shunned. Everything that just happened, I’m a little too shocked to fully comprehend it.
“I’m sorry if you ever felt like I would hurt you or remove you from my life because of that kiss. I know I come off as... well, crazy.” She laughs, owning it with no shame. “But I think with the others, the reason I reacted in a certain way with them was because they already hurt me pretty bad in the past. I know you would never try to steal my man out from under me. And I would never put myself between you guys being happy. I mean, I’ll admit I was not looking forward to watching that if I couldn’t have you too.” She bites her lip, and she looks so sexy being vulnerable like this, trusting us enough to be open. “But I would’ve gotten over it. Or at the very least, sucked it the fuck up like a big girl.”
“I would never try to hurt you or do something to lose your trust,” I insist.
“I know. You’re a pure soul, Sam. You and I, we vibe on the same level with a few things, sadly it’s for fucked up reasons.” She moves to get off the bed and stands next to Axel. “I’m gonna go shower, fuck my girl, then get some sleep. You two talk, make everything right. I don’t like seeing you both hurting and apart from the other.”
“Harlow?” I ask, moving to get off the bed. The fear of getting rejected for what I’m about to ask consumes me to my bones, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now.
“Sam.” She smiles back.
“Can I... can I kiss you goodnight?” My voice is low as I put my heart on the line. This is a big deal for me. I don’t like being touched, only a few people can without me freaking out. But this? This is a big deal for me.