Chapter 2
Axel
“Here.” Sam's soft voicedraws my attention away from the window.
“Thanks,” I grunt, taking the cup of coffee from him. I take a sip as he moves to sit next to me on the window seat in my office.
“How are you doing?” he asks, tucking his knees to his chest and laying his chin on top of them. It makes him look so innocent. I guess, in a lot of ways, he is. He’s the youngest out of all of us at only twenty-three.
The sunlight shines through the window, making his blond hair almost white. A piece falls into his face, and I find my fingers itching to tuck it behind his ear.
“As well as someone who's had their girlfriend kidnapped can be,” I say, clearing my throat, while looking back out the window.
I’d just gotten her back. I spent years hating her for no real reason, and then I was an ass to her from the moment she came back. I finally had her, like I’ve always wanted since I was that stupid love struck teenager, only to have her be taken by God knows who.
She’s been gone for a week now, and I feel so fucking useless. The first few days I spent my time in the gym beating the shit out of the punching bag, wishing it was whoever took her. After a while, even with taping up my hands, my skin became raw. I didn’t care. I enjoyed the pain, craved it because it took my mind off of her and what she could be going through.
Sam found me and convinced me to stop. He even went as far as cleaning and bandaging up my hands. I’ve been this moody ball of pissed off energy ever since. Honestly, he's the only thing keeping me together right now. While everyone is focused on their pain or channeling it to find Harlow, I’ve sunk into a depressive state. If it wasn’t for Sam making sure I... Well, he’s made sure that I’m doing everything necessary to stay alive.
Evie is working endlessly trying to find any leads she can, but until it’s a necessity that we know, she’s been keeping to herself. Miller knows, but other than him, it's just Harlow’s family, and her close friends that know the true story. If the word got out that Queenie was gone, the wolves would descend upon the blissfully ignorant sheep.
Dean has been trying to keep himself under control, but with everything being turned upside down, it's been messing with his OCD. The only person who seems to be able to break him out of that state he finds himself in isn’t here. He’s been keeping himself as busy as he can with the company, but I don’t think he can do it for much longer without snapping.
Cass has been putting all of his time into making sure Rosie is cared for, and trying to take her mind off of Harlow’s absence. I see the pain in his eyes every time she asks to see her Mama on video chat, like they normally do when Harlow is on a work trip, but she doesn’t understand why this time she can’t do that.
“We’ll get her back. She’s unbeatable, Axel, something like this won't bring Queenie down.” He gives me a soft smile.
I’ve come to realize that he has a hero complex in regards to Harlow. To him, the sun shines out of her ass, and she can do no wrong. Like she's some kind of superhuman. And I don’t have the heart to tell him that while she might be the biggest and baddest person I’ve ever known to walk the face of this planet, she's still human. And humans can be brought to their knees one way or another.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, seeing the pitying look on my face. I don’t mean to, but when he talks like this, I can’t help it. “I get it. She's Queenie, and Queenie would be out of wherever she's being kept by now while leaving a line of dead bodies in her path. But maybe she just doesn’t have the tools she needs, but she will findsomething.She always does.” He’s getting worked up, and I feel like an ass.
Putting my coffee down, I turn to him and say, “Come here,” as I pull him into my arms without thinking. I’m just trying to calm him down. He tenses in my arms, and I open my mouth to start apologizing, because I know he doesn't like to be touched like this, but then he relaxes in my arms.
“She’s gonna be okay. We won't ever give up on her because I know if it was one of us, she would burn this world to the ground until she found us. It sucks not being able to do anything, though. I want to bang on every door in this city until we find her, and it makes me feel useless that I can’t,” Sam says.
I growl into his hair. He feels so small and soft in my large arms. “I know if you could do something you would. We just need to wait for a lead, and then we’ll jump on it,” he says as he hugs me tighter. Lately I’ve been feeling things I never thought I would. There's something about Sam that just makes me want to hold him and protect him. Never let anything hurt him ever again. And I feel like he would let me. It’s nice to be needed the way he seems to need me. I love Harlow, but she doesn’t need someone to protect her. Hell, she's the one who protects us most of the time. At least, I thought that until now. Now, no one is there to save her.
“Shhh,” he says. “I can feel your body vibrating. You need to relax.” He moves to straddle my lap, and I just blink dumbly at him as he starts to run his fingers through my hair, giving me a scalp massage.
I don’t stop him because Ilikeit.Why do I like it so much?And I don’t think it's because of the feeling of his nimble fingers on my skin, but everything to do with the man doing it.
I’ve never been with a man before, but I’ve found myself admiring one from time to time. I’d be lying if I didn’t find Sam attractive though.
He continues to massage me for a minute, both of us quiet. I can’t help but groan because itreallydoes feel good.
His eyes snap to mine, bright and full of lust. Does he want me too?Fuck.His eyes fall to my lips as I poke my tongue out to wet them.
Next thing I know, his lips are on mine. They’re sweet and soft. The kiss doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to get my dick hard.
He pulls back, his hand flying to his mouth. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” He scrambles off my lap.
“Sam, it's okay,” I say, my voice is far too husky for this moment of panic.
“No. No, it's not okay. I didn’t ask. I should have asked. You should always ask. Never think you have the right to someone's body.” He’s spiraling.Fuck.He’s come along so much since Harlow saved him, that sometimes I forget the hell he had to endure before.
“I’m not mad,” I insist.
“You should be.” He looks at me in shock. “Not only did I touch you without permission, I made you cheat on your girlfriend!” God, my heart hurts at the broken look on his face. “She’s gonna hate me.” Tears start to form in his eyes. “She’s done so much for me and what do I do? Kiss her boyfriend while she’s being held captive somewhere. God, I’m a monster.”