“And maybe it won’t.”
His gaze met Harry’s. “Maybe.”
Harry didn’t want to bring this up right now, but he didn’t really have a choice. “Is that why you didn’t kill me when you had the chance? Back in Madrid? Why you wanted us to work together?”
Hurt flashed in Asher’s eyes. “The hit on both of us came from your government. From your handler. If we want to know why or have it revoked, I needed your help. I told you this, Harry. I’m not lying.”
“You said you did jobs for my government?” Harry didn’t get it. “Was it gas or oil related? Is that what made you realise something was wrong?”
“Yes. Like I said, Four looks between the lines. He wants to know why someone is marked for death, and 99.9% of the time there’s money involved. It’s usually a whole lot of money.”
“And you said you’d been following my work.”
Asher nodded. They’d already talked about this; it wasn’t a revelation. “Four noticed the patterns. He watches everything that goes on in the underbelly. The hits, the contracts, watchlists, blackmails, who’s paying who, who wants who dead and why, that kind of thing. He follows the money, and your handler is in the business of money. Stealing it, skimming it, profiteering. Please don’t be mad. I might not have told you everything in the beginning, but I didn’t exactly lie to you.”
“I’m not mad.” The truth was, Harry had assumed as much. “It’s nice to hear you say it though.”
Asher met his gaze and sighed. “The rest is the truth. We are better off sticking together. That was true. Me wanting a normal life. That’s true. You being not completely insufferable. Maybe that’s true.”
Harry snorted. “You’re not completely insufferable either.”
Asher’s smile was both sad and sweet as he lay back down, his head on Harry’s bare chest. He was quiet while Harry rubbed his arm and drew circles on his back. The TV was still on but Harry wasn’t watching it. He was sure Asher wasn’t either. They were both in their own heads, happy in each other’s arms.
The world outside didn’t exist. The people chasing them didn’t exist. The brevity of whatever this was didn’t exist. It was here and now, it was real, and it was the best thing Harry could remember having.
After a long silence, still with his head on Harry’s chest, Asher spoke.
“I like your tattoo,” he whispered. “You have that identity and I’m sorry if your handler makes you doubt being patriotic. Everything you’ve done has been for your country. Or so you were led to believe. Everything you’ve been through, every dark minute, every scar, every day you’ve been alone... Your country should honour you.”
“I doubt they’ll see it that way.”
“Four will make it so.”
There it was again.Four. “You trust him.”
“With my life,” he answered immediately. Then after a second, he added, “With yours.”
Harry rubbed Asher’s back.
“He’s like a brother to me. Family. The only family I’ve ever known.”
Harry leaned up and kissed the top of Asher’s head. “Then I’m glad you have him.”
“Do you have family?”
“No.” Then he sighed and offered a part of himself that no one else knew. “My parent’s disowned me. Kicked me out for being gay. I’d just turned eighteen and I knew they wouldn’t take it well, but... my dad went nuclear and beat the shit out of me.”
Asher looked up at Harry then, his eyes full of concern. “He hit you?”
“I refused to hit him back at the time. Which I regret, actually. I should have fucking belted him.”
“I’m so sorry,” Asher whispered.
Harry shrugged. “I’d been in the cadets for years, so joining the army felt right. Told them I had no family, which by then, I didn’t. And the army became my family. For years. Until I went solo, and I’ve been on my own ever since.”
“It’s not an easy life.”
“No, it’s not.”