My heart started pounding against my rib cage the closer he got, but I met his gaze head on, refusing to flinch. This close to him, I could smell him, the scent of his cologne that had a spicy basenote, yet a lighter floral mixed with amber, vanilla, and cedar undertones. The coffee on his breath—bitter yet sweet. It was all like a trip down memory lane. Lying in bed with him while that hint of cologne still lingered. His morning kiss after he’d already been up for hours and had drunk an entire pot of coffee by himself.
But it was his eyes that had me taking a step back. Not from fear, but anger, as I remembered another pair of caramel centers with that shade of rich coffee around the outer edges when I’d handed over five million dollars. The anger blocked out all the other memories, even the hurt I’d felt when Nolan had shown up at my apartment days later. But by then, we were already over. I didn’t want to hear his excuses.
His choices had been made, and I hadn’t been a part of any of them. There was simply his father and baseball, leaving no room for me—no room forus.
“So, that’s it?” he demanded. His deep voice rolled over me, reminding me that he’d been silent for the majority of the meeting. Something I was immensely thankful for since it would have distracted me too much. I’d always thought his voice was just as sexy as the rest of him. That deep timbre, the slight Southern accent mixed with the Southie one he’d picked up after moving to Boston at the age of ten. “You’re not even going to talk to me?”
“You got what you wanted,” I reminded him, struggling to keep my voice steady and, thankfully, succeeding. “I fixed everything for you, ballplayer. Got you out of Boston and down to New York. Even got you another hundred million added to your contract without taking a single percentage for myself.”
His chest rose and fell rapidly. I liked that he was having a hard time hiding his emotions when he’d been quiet and blank-faced during the entire meeting. It was another sick thrill for me that I could so outwardly disturb him when very little actually appeared to. “Take it all, Red. Every dime. I don’t want any of it.”
I lifted a disdainful brow. “You forget I know you too well, Nolan. Money is all you have ever cared about.” I twisted my lips. “Oh, wait. No, that isn’t the only thing. Moneyandbaseball. They were about to be taken away from you, and yet, I—the one you sacrificed to obtain both in the past—gave them back to you. If I were a different person, I would have sat back and watched your world burn to ashes while drinking a nice bottle of wine as I enjoyed the show.”
His hands caught me around the hips, his fingers digging in just enough to lock me in place.
Oh God. His touch was my kryptonite. It seared into me even through layers of clothing, rebranding me as his. My body, my fucking skin, they remembered him. The pleasure of his caresses, the joy of having his arms wrapped around me. As we cuddled on the couch watching crappy movies. In bed as we snuggled after making love, falling asleep on top of him while he skimmed his fingertips up and down my back. My sleep had been total crap for months without him there to stroke me to sleep.
“It was never about the money or the game, Zariah. It was all for you. Everything I did after meeting you was for our future.” His touch mixed with his voice and his goddamn scent…they all acted like a drug to my senses, and I wanted to purr as I burrowed myself inside him. And then he spoke again, and the spell was broken. “My father—”
“Can burn in hell, for all I care,” I snapped, taking a forceful step back. In the back of my mind, my voice shrieked in agony at the loss of all the things that had once been my every joy, but I told that stupid bitch to shut up and sit her ass down. “And so can you. Enjoy your new life in New York, Nolan.”
“There is no life without you, Red,” he rasped, dropping his hands to his sides and balling them into fists as if he were fighting himself not to reach for me again.
“For some odd reason, I don’t believe you.” A dry laugh left my lips. “Goodbye, ballplayer.”
“Zariah!” He yelled my name before I could take another step. “Ten minutes. Goddamn it, woman. Give me that much to explain everything to you, and then you can decide whether I’m worth your time or not.”
I felt Tony’s tension behind me, then the curious eyes of every other man in the room, and I remembered we weren’t alone. Fighting the burn of embarrassment, I turned to my bodyguard. “We’re finished here.”