He smiles. “So I’ll be your first?”
I look away, my cheeks warming. “Yeah.”
“Good, ’cause you’ll be my first too,” he says, bringing me down so he can kiss me softly.
And I don’t know why I think this as I kiss his sweet lips – because, for goodness’ sake, this is freaking crazy and fast and could end in a fiery blaze – but I still think it. I still crave it. And as I close my eyes extra tight, I pray and hope that, maybe, I’ll be his last.
Once we’re back at the Bullies’ house, we end up in Jude’s bed watching Wicked Tuna. It’s my favorite show but he doesn’t seem entertained in the least. He seems more entertained by tangling his fingers in my hair than watching and I don’t mind really. I’m comfortable, lying across his chest, our legs tangled together as I’m engrossed in the art of tuna fishing. Moving my hand under his shirt, I circle my finger along his abs out of habit. It’s my favorite thing to do when we lie with each other.
It’s intimate and special.
“Can we please watch something else?”
My body shakes with laughter as I sit up to look down at him. “Don’t like tuna fishing?”
“No, not at all. Let’s watch Cops,” he says, taking the remote and changing it.
“You’re lucky I like this show.”
He flashes his teeth at me in a silly way and I settle back down on him. “So, guess what?”
Looking up at him, I smile. “What?”
“Tomorrow is our fourteenth day,” he says with a big grin on his face.
With a mock shocked look on my face, I say, “No! Really? Man, time flies.”
He laughs as his arm tightens around me. “Don’t act like you haven’t been counting down the time with me.”
I shrug. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.”
He kisses my temple and then we both turn to watch the show. “My favorite part is when someone gets tased,” I say with a smile. “I always laugh so hard.”
“Me too,” he says, his body rumbling with his chuckle. “I also like the people who are like, ‘No, I have no drugs,’ and then they have a whole car full.”
I nod as I laugh. “Classic, I tell ya.”
“Yup,” he says just as the person on the TV gets tased. We both burst out laughing as the person falls to the ground and the cops attack him. “Greatest show ever.”
“Agreed,” I say as my laughter subsides. Looking up at him, I watch as he watches TV, and I can’t help but wonder how I got so lucky to lie in bed with someone so fantastic? Girls want him something crazy, and I was the lucky one to land him. He likes me. He wants me. How did that happen? I’m not sure, but I am so thankful. Now all I gotta do is make sure not to screw it up. I need to tell him my secret, but every time I look at him, I don’t know how to say the words I know will make him mad or jealous.
When he looks up at me, he smiles, his eyes locked on mine as he cups my face. “What are you thinking, baby?”
I bring my lip between my teeth, the words right there. Just say them, Claire. Be honest.
“Are you going to talk to Rachael?” I ask, and as soon as I do, I hate myself even more.
“Probably. Don’t think I want her or anything like that. It’s not that. I just need to shut that down, you know? I can’t have her coming at you with bullshit. I’ll fix it and hopefully she’ll understand that I never meant to hurt her.”
I nod. “I’m sure she will, even though she doesn’t deserve it,” I say.
“True, but I want to fix it. For us. I don’t want any more drama. I want to be drama-free, just happy, me and you.”
“Me too,” I admit as I let out a long breath. “But we’re in college. College is drama.”
He laughs. “This is true, but maybe things can be normal between us.”
I want that more than I want my next breath. “Yeah, hopefully.”