“Where have I heard that before?” I muttered to myself, drawing a soft elbow from my mother followed by a glare in the mirror.
Today was my wedding day. My fiancé, as I’d predicted so many years ago, was Caleb Norman, handpicked by my parents to unite our great families. His father was a banker and his mother was a top real estate owner in New England with massive amounts of property.
Caleb was just another cog in his family’s empire and would inherit it all once his parents were gone.
I, on the other hand, was just a window dressing on the whole thing. My parents hadn’t raised me to be involved in any of the ways my family made their money, and to be honest, that didn’t really bother me.
It bothered me that they hadn’t even considered involving me, but I really had no interest. All I wanted was a simple life, and not a night went by that I didn’t dream about what I might do if I had the chance.
I loved painting, but found little inspiration in my life. On top of that, neither of my parents seemed to care much, and saw art as more of an investment than a fulfilling creative endeavor.
Everything was an investment to them, including this marriage.
I really had no choice but to go through with it. As much as I resented my family at times, I still loved them and didn’t want to be away from them, and I knew that if I said no to Caleb, there was a good chance my mother would never speak to me again.
On top of that, I knew it was no longer possible for me to find someone I really loved. Not after losing Jay.
Besides, my marriage to Caleb was mostly just for appearances. I could pretend to be in love with him in public and be a decent wife in private, but he would never have my heart.
“All right,” my mother said with a happy sigh. “I think we’re ready. Mark, can you go tell them we’re ready?”
Mark, one of my family’s many assistants, nodded and left the room in a hurry.
I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping to see Rachel, but all I saw was a doll—an expensive doll meant for a shelf in a museum. A wedding dress that had taken seven fittings and five months to make wrapped my body like giftwrap while hundreds of guests waited for me in the main hall of the VanCamp Estate, an incredible home unknown to the public. The owner had agreed to host my wedding because of who my family was.
“Are you ready, darling?” Caleb asked, his eyes still on his phone.
“Yes, let’s get this over with.”
My mother’s gasp pierced my ears as I stood up, and even Caleb glanced over at me, but I just smiled and laughed it off.
“Just kidding, of course,” I smiled as I’d been trained to do since I was young. “Let’s go. I’m ready.”
I stood up, Caleb made his way from the room and into the hall and my mother clapped her hands. Two girls emerged from the side room and took up the train of my dress. Mark returned and held the door open for me and I took a deep breath as I took the final steps of my free life.
The chatter in the hall ceased as the doors opened and I entered. All eyes were on me, but the attention didn’t bother me. I was used to it. Whether it was paparazzo photographing me out shopping or the news speculating on what I was up to or who I was dating—because of who I was, people were always interested.
So I ignored it all on my way up to the altar where Caleb was standing, looking quite pleased with himself. I knew it wasn’t because of me, but because of who I was and what today represented to his public image.
Just get it over with, I thought as I took my place in front of him.
“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today…”
The priest’s words washed over me like a dull roar as my mind went elsewhere—back to that evening beneath the setting sun, Jay holding my hand, leading me to his secret place where we’d kissed and skinny dipped until dark.
Don’t think about him, I thought. He’s gone and he’s not coming back.
I knew that in my heart, but the question kept ringing through my mind every single day:
Where had Jay gone and why?
These days with cell phones and internet, he could have easily gotten back in touch with me, but I hadn’t heard
a word from him since that night.
The only two possibilities that seemed logical to mere were that he’d either forgotten about me or had been killed, and neither of those reasons made me feel any better.
I raised my eyes to Caleb as the priest finished his speech.