inessa
I stareddown at the test in my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.
But the symptoms didn’t lie. I was nauseated. My breasts hurt. I was bloated. And my moods were all over the fucking place.
And now, the positive test.
I couldn’t be pregnant while my husband was in prison.
This was supposed to be a happy moment for us to share together.
Instead, he was locked in a cold cell, always looking over his shoulder to take care of himself. He’d finally been moved to a facility where James had more control, but it didn’t mean Jaxon was safe.
I’d overheard Darren telling James that one night when I’d gone down to the kitchen to get a water. And it had fucked with me bad.
“Come on,” Emmaline said softly, grabbing my hand in hers. “James is waiting for you downstairs.”
I swiped at my cheeks and nodded my head, grabbing my sweater off the bed. James was already in the car when I got downstairs, and I silently slipped into the passenger seat, my hand resting on my belly. My lips trembled as I desperately tried to hold myself together.
“I will do everything in my power to get him home to you,” James said quietly from beside me, his eyes flickering to where my hand rested. “Just try to get some rest.”
Rest had been impossible for two weeks now since I’d found out my husband wasn’t coming home any time soon.
* * *
The moment my eyes landed on Jaxon, tears streamed down my cheeks. I sobbed, wishing I could hug him, but I knew the prison had a no-touching policy. It had been drilled into my head by James. If I touched him, I would be forcibly removed.
“I miss you,” I cried as soon as I was sitting down.
Jaxon scrubbed his cuffed hands down his face, and the sight of those cuffs made me cry harder. “You’re all that I’ve been able to think about,” Jaxon quietly told me. “I hate that I’ve done this to you.”
My lips trembled. “I want to hate this family and mine for putting you into this position.” My chin wobbled. I was a fucking mess, but I couldn’t hide it. The sight of him in a fucking jumpsuit, shackles around his ankles and cuffs around his wrists, fucking did my soul in.
Jaxon frowned at me. “Whatever you do, baby girl, don’t turn your back on the family, you hear me? Let James guide you and keep your protected.”
“Us,” I whispered, looking down at the table.
“Us?” Jaxon questioned, not missing what I had said.
I swallowed thickly, my words getting lodged in my throat. Would he be happy? Angry? Disappointed?
“Bunny?” Jaxon asked softly.
I looked up at the sound of that name. I sniffled, swiping the sleeve of my sweater under my nose since I didn’t have tissues.
“I found out I’m pregnant this morning,” I whispered.
Jaxon sat back in his seat, just staring at me. “Pregnant?” he mouthed, like he was afraid to say the word out loud. I nodded in response. He shook his head. “Fuck,” he whispered. He looked back at me and leaned forward again. The agony in his eyes broke my fucking heart. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I’m not out there with you. I’m sorry you’re going through this by yourself.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what this visit is about.” I drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I’m crying so much. It’s—”
“Hormones, I know,” Jaxon said softly. I cried harder because, just like always, he just fucking got it. He understood. I never had to explain myself with him. “I watched Emmaline and Julianna go through it. I hate that I’m in here. I don’t want to miss a second of any of this with you.”
I bit my tongue to keep myself from crying more than I already had. He leaned forward, his eyes boring into mine. “I need you to tilt your chin up, you hear me?” His eyes focused on the diamond studded collar around my neck. I reached up and touched it. When they’d tried to remove it, James had almost lost his shit on my behalf, and they’d backed off. “When I get out of here, I will do everything I can to make up this missed time with you.” He drew in a deep breath like his next words were paining him to say.
I just wish I’d known how much they would hurt.
“This has to be the only time you can see me, little bunny,” he said softly.
I shook my head, my throat closing up. “Jaxon—” I croaked. He couldn’t take this away from me!
He shook his head at me. “No, baby girl. Chin up. It’s too dangerous for you to come here. I’ve got too many enemies right now, and I need you safe and out of the limelight. Stay home as much as possible, and let the family take care of you.”
I sobbed. His time was already hard enough. I wouldn’t make shit more difficult for him, no matter how much it damn hurt. “I love you,” I cried.
Jaxon reached for me but drew his hands back before he touched me. He fisted them with a frustrated growl. “You are the reason for my existence, baby.” He looked behind me, nodding once. “Time’s up. I need to go.” He stood from his chair as two guards came to his side. “Chin up,” he reminded me.
I watched him get led away with tears running down my cheeks. Once my husband was gone from my view, I walked out of the room. James was waiting for me on the other side of the exit, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me as I fell apart.