Everything was going wrong that could fucking go wrong today.
First, Juliana didn’t show any signs of labor. At fucking all. We didn’t even know she was in labor until her goddamn water broke on the stairs.
When we got to the hospital, she was eight fucking centimeters dilated. There was no time for an epidural. Her window to get it had passed.
Now, the baby was breeched. They were going to try to deliver vaginally, but the baby had gotten the cord wrapped around her neck. An emergency c-section had to be done.
And Juliana was panicking.
“Baby, breathe,” I told her, trying to remain soothing. I was just as freaked out as she was, but I had to remain calm for her. If I lost my shit, Juliana would lose her rock. I had to keep her grounded.
“The baby—” she sobbed.
“Juliana,” I barked, slipping into dom mode. Her eyes snapped up to mine in response. “Breathe,” I commanded. “You're panicking, and it’s doing more harm. Your blood pressure is rising, which is going to raise the baby’s. You have to calm down. I’m not going to leave your side. I’ll be there the whole time. I swear to you, everything is going to be fine. Trust me,” I begged her.
She nodded. “Okay,” she sniffled.
I pressed my lips to hers and looked up at the surgeon. “We’re ready,” I told him.
He nodded. They wheeled Juliana out of the room, taking her to an operating room. They stopped long enough for me to pull on some scrubs, and then, we were moving into the room, me keeping my promise to never leave her side.
It felt like it took forever, though I knew it wasn’t really that long. I stayed in dom mode, keeping Juliana in sub-mode to keep her grounded. I didn’t dare look to see what the doctors were doing. If I saw her getting cut open, I might lose my fucking mind.
But then, one of the most beautiful, heartwarming sounds in the world reached my ears.
Our baby was crying.
Juliana burst into tears. “Is she okay?” she asked me.
I swallowed thickly, my eyes blurring with tears as I looked at our little girl. Her little arms and legs were furiously kicking as the nurses worked to clean her off and the surgeon began to stitch Juliana up.
“She’s perfect,” I rasped. I pressed my lips to hers. “She’s so fucking perfect. I’m so goddamn proud of you.”
And then, I fucking cried, too.
~*~*~
I gently lifted my little angel into my arms, being extra careful to keep her head supported as I did so. She was such a quiet little thing, just like her mother.
And fuck, she was the spitting image of Juliana.
Amberose Willow Jackson had been born at 3:59 in the afternoon weighing in at seven pounds, eleven ounces and almost an entire two feet tall already.
“Darren?” Juliana croaked from the bed.
I slowly turned to face her, smiling at my beautiful wife. After we found out she was having a little girl, I soon asked Juliana to marry me, to which she readily agreed under the conditions that we didn’t have a big wedding. She wanted to get married at the courthouse, and that was it.
I readily agreed. I loved how simple my woman was.
“Time to breastfeed?” I asked her.
She nodded, reaching up to unfasten the top of her hospital gown. I gently placed Amberose into her arms, my heart clenching in my chest at the sight of Juliana holding our baby girl.
It was something I would never in my life forget.
Amberose latched on easily to her mother’s breast. I eased onto the bed beside Juliana, being careful not to jostle her. I knew she was sore from the C-section. Sleep had been fitful for her until they gave her something strong enough that she could take while breastfeeding.
She’d been adamant about having that bond with her baby, and I wouldn’t ever deny her that, no matter how much I hated seeing her in pain because she was limited in what she could take now.
Because now, everything she ate or drank went to the baby as well, just like it had been when she was pregnant.
“You look so beautiful holding her,” I said softly. Juliana smiled at me, her dark eyes glowing with happiness. “I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become, baby girl. You grew – blossomed – into a fucking goddess, and you persevered despite the world being against you. You survived, baby. You’re a fucking warrior.”
She blinked back tears. “I love you,” she croaked. “I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you.”
My chest squeezed with raw pain at the thought of never knowing this amazing woman.
“I saw that fire in your soul the moment my eyes met yours in that club,” I told her. She blinked back tears. “I always knew you were destined to be great.”
“I’m so happy I trusted you that night,” she whispered.
I leaned forward and gently kissed her, Amberose between our bodies. “And I’m glad you gave me a chance despite all of your fears, baby girl. I will always take care of you.”
She smiled at me. “Forever?” she quietly asked, that hint of vulnerability tinting her words.
“For eternity,” I corrected.
She smiled that smile that always made my soul roar for her.
She was mine – forever.
We’d both faced Hell in our own ways, and I was so fucking honored to be a part of her beautiful journey of healing.
As long as I had anything to do with it, my baby girl would always continue to be great.