I sat on the edge of her bed, my body turned to face hers. “Thank you.”
Confusion flashed in her eyes. “For?”
I brushed my fingers over his cheeks. “For making me realize that I was capable of loving someone,” I told her. Tears swam in her eyes. “For making me realize that I’m capable of being a father, capable of being a good husband. I was nothing before you.”
“Oh, James,” she whispered.
“I love you,” I told her. “And I love him. I never knew I wanted to be a dad – not truly – until he cried for the first time.” I quietly laughed. “This is honestly the first time I’ve put him down since the nurse brought him into the room.”
She smiled at me, her smile making her eyes shine so fucking beautifully that it tugged at my soul. “I always knew you would make an incredible father, James. Carter will adore the ground you walk on.”
“I fucking hope so,” I admitted. I leaned forward and brushed my lips over hers. “So, when can we try for number two?”
She laughed. The sound was like fucking magic to my ears, setting my soul on fire all while my heart almost burst in my chest. She was so beautiful when she was happy. “James, I just had him,” she reminded me. “Give me at least a couple of years. I want him to be older.”
“But you want more?” I tried clarifying.
She blushed and nodded. So fucking innocent. “Yes,” she admitted.
I grinned. “Good. Plan on about ten more.”
Her eyes widened in horror. I barked out a laugh, making Carter jump in her arms. “You’ve officially lost your mind,” she snapped. “No way in hell, James.”
I leaned forward and softly kissed her again. “I’m just kidding, little one, though I would like three more.”
She sighed. “We’ll see,” she told me. “Just remember it’s me that has to push them out of me – not you. I still say a couple of years.”
I shrugged. “As long as I get my four total, baby, I don’t care.”
She shook her head, but there was a beautiful smile on her face. And that smile? It would forever light my way through the darkness of my life, bringing me home to her and our little boy.
“I love you,” I told her. I knew I said it a lot, but I also knew she never got tired of hearing it.
Her eyes softened. “And I love you, James,” she simply replied.
I knew everything wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows with us. But I also knew that as long as I stuck by her side, Emmaline would continue to show me the better parts of life where love and family brought happiness, strength, and warmth.
My parents may have fucked up with me, but I would never fuck up with my own children. That was my one promise to them, and I intended on keeping that promise for the rest of my life.