EMMALINE
Lately, James had been . . . distant. I didn’t know how else to explain it. Sure, he was still going out of his way to take care of me, being sweet and loving, but I could tell that his mind was always elsewhere, and it worried me.
And according to Jaxon, James never got like this. His head was always on straight, and he was always focused.
I frowned down at my phone, contemplating sending the message that I had typed out. I didn’t want to worry him further, and I didn’t want to add more to his plate of things to deal with, but I was worried that his change in behavior had to do with his mother and father, who I had learned, were also dead.
James may like to act like a lot of things he did didn’t bother him, but clearly, they did.
I’d always known James was not a monster, and this proved that fact.
Blowing out a soft breath, I hit send on the message I had typed out before I slid off of the bed and padded barefoot to the bathroom to take a much-needed shower. I’d woken up late after not being able to sleep due to James tossing and turning all night before he finally decided to just get out of bed at about three this morning. I had listened to him shower and shave before he got dressed. I faked sleep as he pressed a kiss to my forehead and whispered that he loved me.
I’d finally fallen asleep about five this morning, and as far as I was aware, he’d never come back to the room. I knew he lived a busy life and was constantly in demand for something, but this wasn’t healthy. He was working on absolutely no sleep.
And most likely no food, either.
I was halfway through my shower when James barged into the bathroom. I shrieked in shock, my eyes flying open. “Oh, fuck!” I shouted as shampoo instantly got into my eyes. “Fuck!”
I blindly reached for the shower head, but suddenly, James was there, pulling it down and holding it over my eyes. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry,” he rasped as I began to rinse my eyes out. Fuck, they burned so bad. “You texted me that we needed to talk, and then, you didn’t respond when I texted and called you numerous times. I freaked the fuck out,” he admitted.
“Let me finish my shower,” I told him. “I have shampoo all in my hair.”
He pressed a kiss to my lips. “Are you okay? Is it about you?”
I shook my head, sighing in contentment when he began to rinse my hair for me. He was still fully clothed, but he obviously didn’t give a fuck. “No. It’s not about me,” I assured him. “I actually wanted to talk about you.”
His hand paused in my hair for a moment before he softly grunted and continued rinsing my hair out. Once it was completely rinsed, he grabbed my hips and leaned down, slanting his lips across mine, taking my lips in a hard, yet sweet kiss. “I’ll be in the bedroom when you finish,” he told me.
I watched as he stepped out of the shower and began to strip out of his clothes and shoes, tossing them into the hamper off to the side. With a small, almost inaudible sigh, I began to condition the ends of my hair.
James normally wouldn’t have even walked out of the shower with me naked.
He was definitely distracted and lost in his head.
“Oh, James,” I whispered as I stared at his back through the open bathroom door. “What in the world is going on with you?”
~*~*~
I took a seat on the bed beside James. “Have you had anything to eat yet?” he asked me.
I shook my head at him. He moved to grab his phone, but I grabbed his wrist, halting his movements. “We need to talk first,” I told him. He sighed and leaned back against the headboard, looking over at me. “James, you’ve been really distant and distracted lately.”
He frowned back at me. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been fine, little one.”
I shot him a deadpan look. “Seriously? Because normally you can’t even walk away from me when I’m naked without at the very least giving me an extremely hot make-out session, and yet, you’ve walked away numerous times within the past week.”
He sighed and reached up, scrubbing his calloused hands down his face. “I’ve just got a lot of shit on my mind, little one. That’s all.”
“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him. He evenly met my gaze. “Talk to me, James,” I pleaded. “What’s going on?”
He sighed. “Adrian and I are kind of on the outs,” he admitted. I stayed silent, knowing he had more on his mind than just that. “I know he’s my second in command, but he’s also the closest person I’ve got to a friend right now while my brother is locked up. I’m used to being able to go to him about shit that’s piling on my shoulders. He’s good at helping me delegate tasks.” He shook his head. “Shit’s been rough since my brother got arrested. Not only do I now have to deal with my own shit, but I have to deal with everything Darren used to do as well. So, it’s double the workload.”
“Why are you and Adrian on the outs?” I asked him.
“Because I accused him of hurting my mother and betraying me,” James quietly admitted. “When you were attacked, I kind of fucking lost my mind, and I was ready to burn the entire world down because of what happened to you. Adrian was one of those people that got burnt by me.”
I shrugged at him. “So, talk to him, James.” He arched an eyebrow at me. I huffed. “James, you were in the wrong,” I reminded him. He scowled. “Stop being so stubborn and just talk to him. I’m sure he’s just as bothered by this shit as you are, but James, you were the one that fucked up this time – not him. He made a simple mistake.” James opened his mouth to speak, but I put up my hand. “James, it was a mistake. He bent over backward to bring you your father, and he got shot in the process – wouldn’t even go to the hospital and get help because he was trying to prove to you that he is still worthy of your trust and your respect.”
James stayed silent, pondering my words. He sighed after a minute. “Yeah, you’re right,” he grumbled.
“Is everything surrounding your mother bothering you, too?” I asked him.
He barked out a laugh. “Killing her? Nope.” He even had the audacity to pop the p. “I don’t regret a fucking moment of that. The only thing that bugs me is that I have no real way of knowing what happened before my accident now. I have no way of knowing who I was, who she really was – hell, who my dad truly was.”
“What about talking to Jaxon?” I asked him. A sour looked crossed James’s face. I sighed. “James, he knew you before the accident. I’m sure there’s actually a lot that he does remember. Why don’t you just talk to him? I’m sure he would be happy to fill in everything for you.”
“I feel like I’m sitting in fucking therapy right now,” James grumbled in displeasure.
I laughed. His eyes brightened for a moment as he flashed me a grin. I grabbed his hand in mine, and he laced our fingers together, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of my hand. “James, just talk to them. You’ll be surprised what happens with a little bit of communication. You’re open with me—"