JAMES
My mom blankly stared down at the cup of coffee in her hands. I sighed, reaching up to rub my temples. She had been mute ever since I had stepped into this room. I knew my father had fucked her up pretty badly throughout their marriage, but had he really forced her to be silent, even when he wasn’t around to fucking hurt her anymore?
“Mom, he’s not alive anymore,” I told her. She slowly looked up at me. “He can’t hurt you, Mom. Why did you shoot Adrian?” I demanded.
It was the one part of this entire situation that I couldn’t seem to wrap my fucking head around.
She slowly set down her cup of coffee on the small table in front of us. “Your father told me what he had planned for Emmaline,” she said quietly. I clenched my jaw and forced myself not to wrap my hands around her neck – or better yet, snap it. She had known, and yet, she kept silent about it.
I wanted to fucking kill her.
“James, believe me, I wanted to tell you,” she pleaded as she looked up at me with the same colored eyes that I had. “But your father . . .” She shook her head, drawing in a deep breath. “He’s got a way of making me so afraid that I would rather turn my back on you than do the right thing.”
I clenched my fists before I forced them to relax. “What did he threaten you with that made you feel as if you couldn’t turn to me for help?” I demanded. “Because, Mom, you know better than that. All you ever had to do was speak the words, and he would have been taken care of.”
Her hands trembled. She tightly clasped them together as she drew in a deep, calming breath. “He threatened to order a hit on Darren if I came to you.” My blood pulsed hot and heavy with rage through my veins. No one touched my little brother. “He’s always known about your promise to me – that you would kill him if I ever gave you the word.”
I shook my head. “Darren has protection inside,” I reminded her. I’d made damn sure of that. “It’s there because I don’t trust anyone to truly protect him other than me. Dad couldn’t do shit to him.”
“Your father still has pull inside of those walls, James – or he did,” she corrected, remembering that he was now dead. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t be the reason that I lost one of my sons.”
I bitterly laughed as I clenched my hands into fists before forcing them to relax. “No. You would just rather watch me internally die because I lost my woman than see your other son lying in a fucking casket.” I stood up from the couch and turned to glare down at her. “Because that’s what would have happened, Mom. If I lose Emmaline, I will lose a fucking part of myself – the last part of me that seems to make me fucking human.” I shook my head. “I hate that I understand your fear, and I hate that I love you as my mother too much to inflict any kind of punishment on you.”
I really did fucking hate it because I understood the abuse she went through. He’d inflicted that abuse on all of us.
A tear ran down her cheek. “Stop fucking crying!” I barked at her. She flinched. “Your husband is dead,” I snarled. “I killed him with my own goddamn bare hands.” She flinched, casting her eyes away from me. I knew I scared her; I always did.
I leaned down, my eyes meeting hers. “I may not kill you today, but mark my fucking words. If you ever cross me again, I won’t give a fuck about your circumstances. I’ll inflict the same punishment on you that I delivered to your husband. Learn to be a better mother and put your children first.”
With that, I stood up from my crouched position and stormed out of the room. I slammed her door shut behind me and turned to face Hex, the guard that I had posted at her door. “She does not leave this fucking room,” I ordered. “Food and drinks will be brought up here by Mrs. Judy. Only Mrs. Judy and I are allowed into this room with her. I don’t want her wandering my halls. As of right now, you treat her as if she is untrustworthy.”
Because she was. She had betrayed me. My father no longer called the shots the moment I took over the Family.
“Yes, sir,” he instantly replied.
With that, I strode back up the hall towards the stairs, silently fuming. She had always done this shit – put her needs before her children’s. And it was one of the biggest reasons Darren and I had turned out so fucked up. We were constantly stuck in a never-ending, toxic cycle of fuckery with them as our parents.
We might have had our mother, but we grew up without her motherly love because her fear of my father was too great. But what made it hard to move past it wasn’t the fact that she’d been afraid of him.
It was because when I had taken over – had become the don – she hadn’t taken me up on my offer to get him out of her life permanently. There had never been a clear reason as to why she didn’t want me to order the hit, but it was always a firm ‘no’.
But now, she had crossed me wrong. She had put my woman in danger – had almost cost Emmaline her life.
And I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive her for that.
~*~*~
Jaxon nodded once at me when I stepped into my bedroom. “She’s using the restroom, sir,” he explained as soon as I closed the door behind me.
I nodded once at him. “You’re dismissed, Jaxon.”
Without a word, he slipped from the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. I shrugged my blazer off and tossed it onto a chair in the corner before I strode towards the bathroom. Emmaline was washing her hands when I stepped inside, her eyebrows pulled together with her face scrunched up in pain.
“So stubborn, little one,” I sighed as I wrapped my arm under her breasts, supporting her weight.
She sighed in relief. “I’m trying,” she told me. “I have to move around, James. And I know you hate that, but it’s the doctor’s orders. The doctor wouldn’t order me to do something if it wasn’t necessary,” she reminded me.
I nuzzled her neck from behind. “Easy, baby,” I crooned, immediately taking note of her attitude. “I know you’re not feeling good. The attitude is proof.”
She huffed. “Of course, I’m not feeling good, James,” she retorted. I brushed my lips to the side of her neck. “I just had surgery. I’m in pain.”
I gently turned her around to face me before I silently grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. Her bra went next. “We’re going to take a nice, hot shower together. I’m going to wash your hair and bathe you. Then, we’re going to eat dinner together, watch a movie, and go to sleep.”
Her eyes softened and welled up with tears. “I’m sorry I’m being such a bitch.”
I softly smiled down at her. “That’s okay, little one. No one is going to expect you to be sunshine and rainbows when you’re in this much pain,” I told her honestly.
Nervousness flickered in her gaze. “I’m not going to get punished, am I?”
I growled. “No, Emmaline. I couldn’t even begin to imagine punishing you in this state. Your nature is naturally sweet and soothing. You’re hurting. I respect that. Granted, your attitude makes me want to bend you over my knee and spank your perky ass red,” I teased. Her cheeks burned at my words, making me grin at her for a moment. “But I’m not a savage, Emmaline. Not to you, anyway,” I quickly corrected, thinking of my mother. “I’m going to take care of you so that I can finally have my sweet Emmaline back.”