It was two in the fucking morning.
And I couldn’t sleep.
Was he going to uncollar me and toss me aside? Had his father gotten through to him after all?
She’ll be gone soon.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I quickly walked towards the bathroom and shut the door. I’d gotten a taste of what it felt like to truly be cared about, to finally be happy with someone, and now, I was about to get thrown back to that club – about to go back to being used by numerous men and women on a daily basis.
I quickly stripped out of the silk nightgown I’d been wearing and stepped into the shower, turning the water on cold. I wanted to be numb. I didn’t want to feel like this.
The tears came anyway. I sobbed as I slid down the shower wall, drawing my knees up to my chest. I buried my face in my hands and began crying my eyes out.
I was falling so hard and fast for James, and now, he was done with me. Instead of coming to me and finding comfort in me, he found comfort in a fucking liquor bottle.
“Little one?” I heard James’s voice call out as he opened the bathroom door. “Ah, no – fuck, little one,” he rasped as he quickly opened the shower door and stepped in. He shut the door back behind him and sat on the floor, pulling me onto his lap. He was still fully clothed, but he didn’t seem to give a fuck that he was getting soaked by freezing cold water. “Don’t do this, little one.”
“Let me go,” I cried.
“No.” I pushed against his chest, but he wrapped a firm hand around the back of my neck. “Open your eyes and fucking look at me, Emmaline,” he ordered.
I slowly opened my eyes, my bottom lip trembling. His eyes were clear, and I didn’t smell any alcohol on him or on his breath. He smelled just as he had at dinner.
“Talk to me. What has you so upset?” he asked me. “Why the hell didn’t you come to me?”
“You’re going to send me away,” I choked out.
He quickly wrapped both of his arms around me and pulled me down to him, squeezing his arms around me. “I told you that when I put that collar on you, it meant forever,” he reminded me. I sobbed. “I’m not fucking sending you anywhere,” he promised. “Why would you think that?”
I hiccupped. “Mrs. Judy said you were drinking—"
He sighed. “No, little one. One of my men got shot. I couldn’t take him to a hospital. I’ve been with him all evening and night as the doctor got the bullet out of his arm. We don’t do hospitals unless it’s absolutely necessary. We use liquor to numb the pain, and we do the job at home.”
“I feel so stupid now,” I cried.
James softly laughed as he pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “Little one, you don’t have to feel stupid. It’s okay to worry about that. You found a home here – someplace you can finally be yourself and be happy. It’s okay to be afraid to lose that. But I’m never getting rid of you, little one. You’re forever stuck with me.”
“Promise?” I pathetically asked him.
“Yeah, baby.” My heart squeezed in my chest at the sound of him calling me baby. That was certainly a new one. “I promise. You’re my queen. You’re not fucking going anywhere.”