27
Jem
Ruby’s face is a mess.
I’m a mess.
Why am I involved?
Guilt sent me to meet Ruby after work tonight, I wanted to persuade her to come back to the studio tomorrow. I feel like shit about what I did to her last night, and I’ve battled with the chaos of thoughts in my head. If she meant nothing, I wouldn’t stop at a kiss because the physical satisfaction of sex with her would’ve been my goal. The problem is, in a screwed up way, the jolt of life to my emotions led me to hurt her because I didn’t want to hurt her. I don’t understand my own logic.
Ruby had left work by the time I arrived at the café and I’ve no idea what made me scout around in case she was nearby but I’m fucking glad fate sent me there.
I’ve been involved in a fair few fights in my time and spent too many years solving arguments with my fists, but what I witnessed when I walked around the corner is beyond anything I’ve seen.
Time stopped when Ruby didn’t reply, the fear for her safety intensifying my need to smash the fucker’s face in.
How can anybody do that to a woman? Or anybody? He behaved like an animal so I treated him like one. When I realised I might’ve seriously injured him, I didn’t give a shit; a raw anger had me gripped and out of control. I wanted to kill him. Only now do I realise how lucky I am that I stopped. For a couple of minutes I was sure Ihadkilled him because he didn’t move or make a sound when I held the trembling Ruby in my arms. The fury intensified as I sat on the ground with her, not knowing what the fuck to do next.
By the time I calmed myself enough to help Ruby away, Dan groaned and shifted but didn’t sit. For a split second I thought: I’ll try harder next time.
Next time.
No way.
This shit stops now.
Ruby sits at the table in my dining room staring at the bowl of water and facecloth I put in front of her. Medical supplies aren’t a staple in my house—I don’t even have any Band-Aids. Uselessly, I hover, head aching from the range of emotions dragged through my system in the past twenty-four hours.
Ruby doesn’t speak. Hasn’t spoken since she yelled at me for threatening to take her to the hospital.
“I’m going to call a doctor,” I tell her.
She turns her battered face to me and I can’t tell if her eyes are red because she’s been crying or from the mess the fucker made of them.
“Call Jax.”
“You want Jax?”
Ruby puts her head in her hands then drops them, gingerly touching her face. Her loose red hair hangs forward, disguising her expression. “Yes.”
Something strange clutches my chest, an old emotion joining the others. Rejection. But I helped her?
“What do you want me to say to him?” I cross my arms.
“He can come pick me up. You don’t have to be involved.”
“I am involved. I just beat the crap out of a guy for you.”
“For me?” She laughs softly.
“Why’s that funny?”
“Nothing. We’re a bit fucked now, with this lip I doubt my singing will be up to par.”
Her words echo mine from yesterday. “This isn’t the right time to talk about the band. Probably not the right time for you to talk about anything.”
“Yeah.”