I find Jax sitting in the plastic seated stalls of the stadium, beer in hand, as he watches the roadies packing up. The large venue is clear, cleaners wandering the rows of seats, and the crash from moved equipment echoes across the empty space. I sit next to him silently for a few minutes.
“All this.” He waves his bottle. “This is what we wanted. I thought you wanted it too.”
“I did…do.”
“Then why get pregnant?” He turns his ice blue eyes to mine. I expect anger, but worse, it’s pity. “Why ruin what you have?”
“I’m having a baby, not dumping the band.”
“Oh, right, so you can do both?” he snorts.
My hackles rise. “What the fuck? Are you in Victorian times? Is my life over if I have a baby? News flash: people have kids all the time and go back to work.”
“Seriously? You think you can do both?” he retorts.
“Now you’re pissing me off. People do harder jobs than this and go back to work! My situation won’t interfere with the tour. I’m not having it… the baby until later in the year.” He pouts and swigs his beer. “That’s not the issue is it, Jax?”
Jax pushes his blond fringe from his eyes but doesn’t look at me. “You jumped from a controlling relationship into this. You never had a chance to find who you are, and now you’re tied to him.”
I swallow because he’s voicing a concern that follows me. “Have you ever thought that I found who I am in Jem?”
“Sure. The man who says he doesn’t give a shit about anyone else and you got pregnant by him. Smart move…”
“What’s this about, Jaxon? Me or the band?”
“Both. When he fucked you over a few months back, you were a mess. Worse than you ever were with Dan,” he grits out.
“With Dan, I was numb; with Jem, I’m alive. We’ve worked through shit.”
Jax shakes his head slowly, staring at the floor. “You deserve more from your life, Ruby. You’re young.”
“Why are you so against Jem? Is this because of me and you?”
Jax’s gaze remains on the floor as he picks at the label on his bottle. “Probably. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for him…yeah, anyway.”
I link my arm through his. “Come on, Jax. We never would’ve worked. I never felt anything—you know that. Besides, your endless stream of girls keeps you happy.”
“Yeah, for now, until I find someone I really want. Maybe a bit like you, but a lot less complicated.” He smiles. “And a bit less pregnant.”
“I love Jem,” I say quietly. “I can’t imagine anybody else.”
“Yeah, you two match. I always saw that, but at least you match in a good way now.”
“So, I have your blessing?” I poke him in the ribs.
Jax shrugs. “I guess. I’ll always look out for you though and if he messes you around—”
“You know what, Jax? Even if he does, I’m sure I’ll cope. I’m not putting up with crap from men anymore. Look at me and you—we’re fucking awesome with or without other people in our life.”
Jax puts an arm around my shoulders. “Okay, I’m happy that you’re happy. Besides, this makes you easier to be around. You’re less of a bitch.”
“Huh!” I shove him. “Cheeky bastard.”
“Admit I’m right.”
“Yeah, okay.”
We lapse back into silence, the tension gone. I leave Jax alone with his thoughts and text Jem to ask him to meet me outside the Green Room. I’m too tired to face the questions—they’re Jem’s guys and not mine. Definitely too tired to speak to the twins about this too.
Jem has people to tell who’ll be pleased for him. He has a family who replaced his old one and he’s finally begun to realise that. But the sadness that I don’t have anybody to share my news with is helped by Bryn, Dylan, and Liam accepting me as one of their own.
For now, I want to go back to the hotel with Jem and the peace and safety of life alone with him.