She gives a small smile to my admission. “What? Even the boy bands?”
“Even the fucking boy bands. Do you know how embarrassing that is for rock god, Jem Jones?”
Ruby’s smile grows and she shakes her head at me. “So you’re saying you miss me?”
“I ache for you. When you left, you took the part of me who could be a decent person, and the only way I can get him back is to be with you again.”
“You kicked me out. I didn’t leave,” she retorts.
I rub my temples. “Yeah, I know. Shit, I’m no good at this, Ruby. I don’t know what else to say to you because this obviously isn’t working.”
She crosses her arms. “I’m not helping you out this time.”
My heart hammers against my chest, skipping out of its normal rhythm for a split second, the way the drugs used to cause. I take another shaky breath and push against Ruby’s barrier some more. “I belong with you.”
The tears remain in Ruby’s eyes, the crossed arms indicating I’m no closer to her letting me back in. “Ruby, there’re so many things I can’t put into words; I should just leave.”
When Ruby’s expression changes to alarm, I know leaving would be the end. The real end. I swear my perspiration matches hers right now. Why is this so fucking hard?
Ruby touches my face, the surprise like an electric shock across my skin. “You could save yourself the explanations if you just used one word, Jem,” she says softly and runs her thumb along my lip.
She knows. I know. We’ve both known for months. The girl in front of me who blew my mind the first night I saw her, who stepped across the broken glass and dragged the hidden Jem into her light deserves to hear the truth from him. “I love you, Ruby Tuesday.”
Ruby’s expression changes, but I can’t read it and she doesn’t speak. Shock? More tears…Shit, she doesn’t feel the same.
“That was easier, wasn’t it?” she whispers eventually, cupping my cheek in her hand.
“No, so you’d better fucking kiss me. I need mouth to mouth after that—the words almost killed me.”
Ruby laughs, the sound letting in light over my shadows. She winds her arms around my neck and plants a sudden, surprise kiss on my mouth. “How could I refuse such an eloquent request?”
Then Rubyreallykisses me. She actually bloody kisses me with the mouth I was terrified would never touch mine again, the warmth and taste flooding a new energy into my life. Ruby wants me and is prepared to forgive my shitty, asshole behaviour. With this embrace, we’re pulled back to our place, along the new path we started on and I sabotaged.
Ruby stops and grips the hands that are wrapped around her slim frame. I won’t let her go, her long legs wrapped between mine, my face buried in her neck.
“Look at me, Jem. I love you, too, and that frightens me. Look at what happened, at what you can do to me when you’re hurting. I can’t cope with that unpredictability.”
My heart stutters for a second time—is she saying no? “I will always tell you everything. There isn’t anything I want to hide from you ever again. You’re in here now.” I place her hand on my heart. “You always were, just this stupid fucker had to catch up.” I touch my head. “Can we try again?”
Ruby’s smile cracks through the concern. “Can you accept you’re worth loving?”
“If I’m worth you reaching out that night I fell apart when I’d treated you like shit, I must be worth something. Come home with me. I promise that from now on this is me and you—we’re the only people who matter.”
Ruby’s smile leaves and she pushes both hands into her hair. “I’m worried about something that’ll screw this up before we’ve even tried again,” she says hoarsely.
I frown. “Like what? Nothing you could say would change my mind.”Unless.Jax? “Or is there someone else?”
“No, no. Not that” Ruby continues to shake her head and pushes my hands away. She sits on the sofa again. “I don’t want you to think… If this is a big deal to you, I’ll sort it.”
“If what is a big deal? You’re talking in riddles. Something that keeps us apart?”
I sit next to Ruby and touch her bare leg. She laces her hands in mine. “I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“Shit!” She slams her head against the back of the sofa. “You said I took a part of you when I left.”
“When I made you leave.”