45
Ruby
A couple of days later,I’m settling into my new place—the boys’ sofa. I gave up my share house when I gave in to my feelings about Jem and moved in with him. Again, living and breathing Ruby Riot 24/7 isn’t fun and I look for somewhere else to live. November isn’t the best time of year to house hunt as most are already taken by students. Moving in with Jem and giving up my share house five minutes into a relationship with him wasn’t the smartest move.
Jax hasn’t said anything about the situation yet, but I know what his first thought was when I arrived on his doorstep and told him about me and Jem. We’re booked to tour with Blue Phoenix in late January onwards—will that still happen if Jem Jones’s ex-fuck is part of the package? Two months until we leave, I can be over Jem and we can behave like adults about this. Surely?
A few days after Jem ended us, Bryn calls out of the blue.
“Did something happen?” he asks abruptly. “I asked you to call me if you thought Jem needed help.”
I’m put out that I’m expected to care about the man who fucked with my heart. “Jem finished our relationship and asked me to leave. I didn’t think I needed to tell you everything.”
“Why did he end things?”
“I don’t know. Ask him. I think he’s screwing around and is too scared of a real relationship.”
Bryn goes quiet. “Oh. Okay. Maybe that’s why I can’t get in touch with him.”
My stomach flips at Bryn’s easy acceptance that this is probably the reason. “Check up on him.”
“I’m overseas. I’ll see if Dylan or Liam is around. Someone needs to see if he’s okay if you think we need to.”
“He was behaving oddly; shutting down. I don’t know him well but to me he seemed… wrong.”
“But this is why I’m surprised. Jem was different around you. I don’t get why he’d screw up something good for him.”
“Because he’s Jem Jones?” I suggest.
“Yeah, there is that.” Bryn swears under his breath. “I’m worried because he won’t answer my calls. I told him a relationship was a mistake. He’d better not have done something stupid.”
I should’ve called Bryn as soon as we split, but I wanted to blank Jem from my mind. Not that the attempt worked, since fragments of Jem’s splintered life pierced mine and I’m left with painful shards trapped beneath my skin.
“I don’t think he would, Bryn.”
“You definitely don’t know him then. Thanks for the info.” Bryn ends the call and I stare at my phone.
Should I check on Jem? I can’t switch off my feelings the way he did, and Bryn now woke the worry I have that Jem could relapse. I drag my fingers through my hair. I’m pulled in two directions. If I go to him and he refuses to see me or talk to me, the glass beneath my skin will cut deeper. If I leave this alone, and the man who was the world to me for those short months disappears back into addiction, I’ll hate myself.
No, he has others who can help. I make things worse.