CHAPTER2
FLYNN
The door opens and I hold my breath. This is it. I can’t quite believe that I’m here at all and yet as the woman steps inside, I take a moment to catch my breath.
I stand as if in a trance because it’s undeniable. The resemblance is too striking because for the first time in my life, I am looking at an older, female version of myself.
She steps back as if I physically assaulted her and her hand flies to her mouth as she struggles to understand what’s happening.
I have no words and for the first time in my life, an overwhelming surge of emotion renders my usually cool façade broken at my feet. Tears glisten in my eyes as I stare at the woman who gave me life, and I am in no doubt about that. Vivian Clark is my mother and I already know that before any DNA test is demanded.
For the longest moment, we stand staring at one another as if we’re in a different time zone. The security guard fades into my subconscious as I stare at a woman I never believed existed.
She appears to shake herself before stepping forward and gazes at me as if I’m a hallucination and as the guard shifts nervously, she whispers, “Leave us.”
“Ma’am, I must insist…”
“Leave us—now!”
Her command is final, and he nods, looking unhappy, but does as she asks and as the door closes softly behind him, she approaches me with tears in her eyes.
“What is your name?”
A simple question that seems odd on this occasion and I whisper, “Flynn.”
“They told me you died at birth.”
The shock of that hits me like a gut punch and the anger builds as I sense my life is built on a lie.
“They were wrong.”
I blink because I never considered for one moment she would accept me as her son without question. I accepted she would be suspicious and deny everything, but it’s as if somehow, she knew me on sight. That means more to me than anything, and I choke back emotion as I stare into a pair of identical eyes to mine.
“How did you find me?”
Her words are measured, but her breathing is erratic, and I say slowly, “Your name fell from the lips of a dying man. Logan, my uncle’s consigliere.”
She takes a step backward. “Mafia.”
She exhales sharply and I sense her retreating away from me and I say desperately, “I’m afraid so.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she whispers, “I wish I had known you, Flynn. I wish I had the chance to love you.”
I watch with morbid fascination as the tears run from her eyes while she stares at me as if she’s been starved of sight her whole life. It is overwhelming and I feel strangely exposed witnessing such pure emotion. In fact, I’ve never seen anything like it and it’s a lot to absorb.
She appears to shake herself and says with a stutter, “We need to work this out. Where we go from here. The future.”
Her acceptance of the situation unravels me and I’m struggling knowing what to do and then something happens that breaks me apart and I’ll never be the same again.
She shifts closer and takes my hands and whispers, “Do you believe in miracles, Flynn?”
“No.” I sound bitter, defeated even, and I hate hearing it in my jaded voice.
“Then I believe enough for both of us. Thank you for finding me and if you agree, please stay for a while. I need to know everything about you and where you’ve been for your whole life.”
I never expected this and for a moment I can’t voice the words that are quivering in response to something I never expected to hear. Then she steps forward and pulls me close and as my mother’s arms close around me, I can’t stop the emotion from grabbing my heart and holding it hostage.
For so many years, a lifetime even I have dreamed what this would be like. A deep yearning in the soul of a lost boy who never experienced what it would be like to have his own mother hold him in her arms. A child who was starved of love and affection and cruelly abused every single fucking day of his life and just experiencing the unconditional love of a mother’s arms, is a powerful thing to witness. She owns me already. Just that one simple act of love is enough to make me die a happy man because, for the first time in my life, it’s as if I have a beginning and now possibly a better ending than I ever expected.