CHAPTER24
FLYNN
Unprotected sex is the best kind of sex. When I experienced my woman as nature intended, it caused a possessive streak to fire through my body and explode with a huge resolve to love her forever. I knew Louisa was everything I had been searching for from the moment we met. The fact she was chosen for me on paper and by circumstance is irrelevant now. None of that matters because she was always my woman. I just never knew it.
As we lie wrapped in sweat, semen, and blood, I couldn’t give a fuck. I want every part of her and as I drop light kisses on her breasts and inhale the scent of my sex on her body, a protective shield wraps itself around my heart.
She trembles against me as I say softly, “Does it hurt, baby?”
“A little.” She sounds shy and yet so happy it brings a smile to my face and I lean back and gaze at her with the adoration she deserves, whispering, “Thank you.”
“For what?” She grins shyly and I brush my lips against hers and murmur, “For allowing me to be the one.”
The tears glisten in her eyes and as I fall to the side, I drag her with me, and she rests her cheek on my chest as I play with her luxurious hair.
“Was it ok?” Her voice sounds anxious, and I smile to myself. “More than ok, baby, that fucking blew my mind.”
She giggles and hearing it makes me happier than I thought it would and she says tentatively, “You don’t have to say anything, but what happened to your nanny?”
I’m waiting for the pain to stir up the madness, but instead all I’m hit with is a great wave of sadness that has been diluted by the happiness I hold in my heart right now. With Louisa in my arms, now may be the perfect time to purge my soul of the one demon that hurts me more than anything.
“You won’t like it, baby.” I say with a sigh. “Maybe another time.”
I give her the option to back out because this is a story that never leaves your memory. It stars in your nightmares and lives with you throughout the day and Louisa doesn’t deserve to have those images in her mind.
“I want to know.” She sounds annoyed, fierce even, and it makes me smile to think of the strong woman lying in my arms. She is always so curious, and I love that about her. Nothing is off limits and so for the first time in my life, I prepare to open Pandora’s box.
“Her name was Rosemary.” Just hearing her name spoken out loud drives the perpetual knife deeper, and I sigh. Louisa plants a soft kiss in my chest and whispers, “It’s ok, Flynn.”
It gives me the courage to see this through and I say in almost a whisper, “She was my nanny and the only person who was ever kind to me, and I must have been only seven when she…”
I break off and shift my emotions in place because this story is one I will never forget.
“Wesley was packing me off to school and a few days before I was due to leave, he burst into the nursery and stood there with a twisted expression on his face. He said we had no use for her anymore and it confused me. It was obvious Rosemary hated him. I always sensed that from the hatred in her eyes when he hung around, and I’m guessing it’s because of the way he treated us both.”
“Both?”
Louisa’s question makes me sigh. “I got used to the beatings, the sharp words, and the constant imprisonment. If I did anything to upset him, he would shove me in a cupboard, sometimes for hours, with no food or water. Rosemary was always the one to comfort me and reassure me that everything would be ok. She chased the shadows away and told me stories of happy times and a future that would be mine if I worked hard and kept a kind soul. She was the only good thing in my life and when he told me she was no longer required, it filled me with so much pain and fear and it must have shown because he slapped me hard across the face and told me to man up.”
“Bastard.” Louisa’s disgusted voice makes me laugh and my breath hitches as I revisit my darkest hour.
“The night before I left for school, he threw a party. We heard the noise from the top of the house where we both lived. Louisa held me and rocked me gently, promising to write and stay in touch. She would visit me and never leave me. She would always be there and if I ever needed anything, to call her. It helped knowing I had someone who loved me. Someone to count on and then Wesley appeared, and it was obvious he had been drinking. He had that wild edge in his eyes I had seen many times before and he ordered us to go downstairs and say our goodbyes.”
“I fucking hate that bastard. What a waste of life he is.”
Louisa growls with anger and I couldn’t agree more.
“Rosemary tried to act as if everything was ok. She took my hand and squeezed it and as we followed him to the party, I remember being so frightened. The room was full of men like him. His soldiers, associates, and people that scared me to death. Rosemary must have been so afraid, but she never once showed it. She smiled her reassurance and tried to make me relax. I remember Wesley announcing us to the room and insulting her. He called her a fat slag and laughed that no man would ever be seen dead with a woman like her. It confused me. I didn’t understand what he meant and thought it was cruel, then again, he always was.”
I break off and the rage fires up my blood as I hiss, “He dragged her away from me into the middle of the room. I made to follow her, and another man pulled my arms behind my back and held me as Wesley screeched, let the boy see how we deal with trashy women like this.”
Louisa tenses and I stroke her hair absentmindedly.
“He ripped off her clothes and as she stood naked in the room, his guests jeered and called her horrible names. She smiled at me the whole time as if everything was fine. But I feared for her and even at that age I sensed something bad was going to happen and as Wesley pushed her back onto the table, he raped her in front of the whole fucking room.”
Louisa sobs and I stroke her back absentmindedly, too far gone to offer her any comfort.
“I remember staring into her eyes the entire time as she smiled at me as if this was ok and as every last man in that room took his turn, I was forced to watch. After they finished Wesley came to me and laughed in my face and told me that was all women were good for and she had loved every minute of it. To take notes and treat every woman this way because only a real man made the grade. Then he turned back to her and laughed, and I watched in horror as she lay there with blood tricking between her thighs. She had scratches and cuts all over her body, and the bruises were already changing the color of her skin. Wesley announced to the room that he was regrettably going to have to fire the nanny, and everyone laughed when he took out his gun and placed the barrel in her mouth. Even then she looked at me with so much love in her eyes and as he pulled the trigger, my life ended with hers.”
Saying the words out loud tears my soul apart and Louisa’s soft kisses on my chest hold me back from falling into the madness. As she strokes my skin, she whispers, “I can’t begin to imagine how you are feeling, Flynn, but you are not on your own anymore. You have me and I will never leave you. Together, we will bring your uncle down and you will be free. Nothing will ever come between us; you have my word on that.”
Just hearing those words is enough and as I kiss my woman, I know she sits beside the angel who has always lived in my heart. The most beautiful woman from my past who didn’t deserve to be cut down and murdered in cold blood, right before my eyes. She was told she was ugly, trash, and undesirable. But she was beautiful to me. She had a golden heart, and it shone through the packaging and made her a goddess. They are the women that attract me the most. The women that cast everyone else in their shade. I have found my own piece of perfection in Louisa, and I will make it my life’s work to make hers a happy one.