She turns and I love how her eyes flash with a temper that stirs my interest even further.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you know shit.”
I’m being deliberately cruel, but I can’t help it and say roughly, “The world is full of injustice, baby, and you are one of the lucky ones. You enjoy a privileged life and yet feel bad about that. You tell me other people deserve more. Well, of course they do. Nobody deserves to live with no food, no money, and no home to call their own. Nobody deserves to beg for food and worry about where their next meal will come from. There is pain and suffering in the world and there is absolutely nothing you can do about that, except cleanse your own conscience by holding charity fundraisers and doing your bit. Admirable but not enough and you know what, it will never be enough and there will always be somebody richer, somebody with more and people who waste their money and that will never change. So, darlin’, step off your soap box and be grateful for what you do have and live your best life, but never judge how other people choose to spend their money until you have your own to make your own choices.”
“You think I’m a hypocrite.”
She faces me down and I’m loving the passion blazing from her eyes.
“Aren’t you? I mean, we flew here in a private jet, for fuck’s sake. You agreed to stay in your father’s penthouse, and you have a credit account that knows no limits. When was the last time you did something good for someone who needed it?”
“I…” She looks for an answer and the defeat in her eyes tells me I hit the mark.
“Exactly. You have noble thoughts but do fuck all about it. Don’t beat yourself up about it, baby. We all live the life fate dealt us and just be grateful yours is better than most.”
She looks down and I say gently, “If it’s any consolation, I’m worse than you.”
Stepping toward her, I lift her pretty face to mine and whisper, “I have money. More money than I can spend, and I get it from crime. I ruin lives for a living, and I benefit financially from that. I give nothing back and I take. I am a monster because I don’t give a fuck because this is the law of the jungle and if I don’t do it, somebody else will. Things won’t change if I turn to religion and dedicate my life to helping others. There will always be a man like me in a dark suit calling the shots. There will always be a man profiteering from other people’s misery and there will always be someone more powerful than me. So, I embrace what I am, and I deal with it. I take the money and I couldn’t give a fuck. Does that make me a bad man? Of course it does, but in my heart, I am just trying to survive. I am a victim of my birth as much as you are, and that doesn’t stop me wanting a better life.”
She shifts a little closer. “What is that better life for you, Flynn? What would make you happy?”
I can’t help myself and reaching out, I let her soft hair filter through my fingers and her erratic breathing makes me lose my mind.
“I want to be able to love you, Louisa. Not as family, but as something more. To see what it’s like to give and receive love. To wake up beside someone who completes you. Not to be afraid of the shadows and to laugh. Feel a happiness that I believe love can give you. To watch my seed grow and create another person and devote my life to making theirs happy. To laugh, to love and to grow old because in my line of work, growing old is a long shot.”
To my surprise, she reaches out and touches my face, flattening her palm against my cheek, facing me with eyes awash with tears.
“I like the sound of your dream, Flynn. Do you think dreams can come true sometimes?”
I place my own hand over hers and whisper, “I think they can.”
We are so close one move would be all it takes to brush my lips against hers and descend into hell and so with superhuman strength, I pull back and say thickly, “It’s late. We should get some sleep because tomorrow will be difficult.”
As I break away, she nods and then says sadly, “There are two guest rooms. If you need any food, dad told me to order room service. He has an account with the hotel, and he will settle up.”
I nod and as we part ways and make our reluctant way to our respective rooms, tomorrow can’t come soon enough for me.