Maggie frowns. “Caterina certainly seems to have thoughts of her own. And Sofia isn’t exactly acting in her husband’s best interests by alienating you, is she?”
“Careful,” I say, laughing, but there’s a serious undercurrent to my tone. “I don’t want to tell you anything that could be dangerous for you to know. But no, she isn’t. Both of them have—unconventionally close relationships with their husbands. Nothing like what my marriage to Connor will be.”
“Do you want that?”
I freeze, my hand halfway to setting down my liner. My heart skips a beat briefly in my chest, because the truth is that there have been moments when Ido. When I’ve been on Connor’s motorcycle, my arms wrapped around his waist, breathing in the leather and smoke scent of him, and I’ve wanted to live in a world where he yearns for me and I love him, and nothing could ever separate us or make us want anyone else.
“I live in the real world,” I say instead, my tone slightly more cutting than usual. “So I don’t bother thinking about things like that. Love has caused them a lot of trouble, problems that could have been avoided if they’d just done things the way they always have been. Marriages of convenience, business arrangements and contracts rather than love and passion. All four of them have nearly gotten themselves killed, in one way or another, because of the way love makes you think. Or rather,notthink,” I add, swiping a neutral pink lipstick over my mouth before reaching for my Chanel sandals.
“That almost sounds like you’re protesting a littletoomuch,” Maggie says with a smirk, and I glare at her affectionately.
She’s the only person in the world who can talk to me the way she does without making me angry or hurting our friendship, because I know she always means well. She knowsme, too, as much as anyone who can’t know all the intricacies of my life ever could, and I know she sees parts of me that others can’t.
She might be the only person I feel I can trust completely, without question, and I love her deeply for that.
“You have to promise to have fun tonight,” Maggie says as I stand up and grab my silver clutch. “Look at you, a redhead wearing hot pink. You’re already rebelling. Let’s make this a night to remember before you sign yourself over to your apparently unavoidable existence as Connor McGregor’s wife.”
“I’ll do my best,” I promise her as we make our way downstairs. Thankfully we don’t run into either of my parents—the benefit of living in a house as large as mine is that sometimes I can manage to skirt them, although not as often as I would like. They agreed to not say anything about my going out with my friends for a bachelorette party, as long as Caterina and Sofia were invited to make it “worthwhile” for the family. In truth, I think my father was sufficiently convinced by my performance in London and Dublin that he doesn’t have to worry about me losing my virginity to some handsome man at a bar in the ninth hour, and therefore can let me run free this one time without trying to constrain me.
If only he knew about Niall.A shiver runs down my spine at the memory of Niall pinning me against the garden wall, his lips hot and eager, every inch of him straining with his need for me. It’s a heady thing, to be desired like that, to feel as if the man touching you might die if you refuse him, as if you’re water and food and air to him, and he’s been denying himself as long as he can possibly bear.
It feels good,toogood. But it doesn’t change the fact that deep down, for all the pleasure and arousal that Niall’s need brings to me, I wish it was Connor who longed for me like that, who burned until he could turn us both to ash.
Maggie wrinkles her nose at the sight of my family driver waiting with the long black car that will take us out tonight. “I could’ve called an Uber,” she says as the door is opened for us, and I laugh.
“I barely got to have this party,” I say, shaking my head. “There was no way my father would let me be chauffeured around by astranger. I’m precious cargo, don’t you know?”
“Every day of my life since I met you, I’ve been reminded,” Maggie says with a grin. “At least there’s champagne!” She holds up a bottle of Dom and two glasses, popping the cork with a small yelp and handing me one fizzing glass. “To a night that we’ll remember forever.”
I tap my glass against hers with a small smile. “To you not getting me into too much trouble.”
“No promises.” Maggie downs her champagne and pours another. “There’s gonna be abs. And pecs. So manyrippling pecs—”
“Are you taking me to a strip club?” I stare at her. “Maggie—”
“An exclusively male strip club,” she says with a grin. “Before you have to stare at the same set of pecs for the rest of your life. Come on, Saoirse, loosen up. It’ll be fun.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that Connor and I have an agreement, but I don’t—maybe because I know the inevitable question that she would ask me next.If you can break that rule, why not all the others?It’s also on the tip of my tongue to tell her I can’t do that, but I don’t, because I know how much effort has gone into planning tonight. “I can’t get too wild,” I finally say warningly. “You know Caterina and Sofia are there to spy on me as much as anything else. They’re my friends so long as it serves them, but if I put a foot out of line and it could help their husbands in some way, they’ll tell on me. Especially Sofia, if it could help Anastasia. That’s just how things are.”
“That sounds like a fucking miserable existence,” Maggie says bluntly.
“Well, it’s mine.” I hear a touch of defensiveness creep into my tone. “I’ll do my best to have fun tonight, Maggie. I promise. I know a lot of effort went into this.”
“I just want you to have a good time.” Maggie sounds slightly mollified. “You deserve it.”
After what I did in London, I agree. Being the lynchpin of my father’s machinations, playing Connor to his tune, had been by far the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve almost succeeded. It’s almost done. In a week, I’ll walk down the aisle and say the vows that will link us together forever, and Connor will teach me what it means to give my body to a man fully. I’ll experience all the pleasure I’ve been waiting to feel, and then I’ll start a new chapter of my life. One that could lead to all kinds of possibilities.
I’ll be a different kind of woman. A married one. A mother, soon enough. I’ll live a life that I’ve been raised for since I was born, trained and bred for to perfection. I’ll fulfill my destiny, and I’ll take what I can from that, and make my life as much my own as I can.
All I have to do is get there without making a mistake. A mistake that wears a leather jacket and smells like lust personified, who wants me more than my husband-to-be ever will, according to him.
A mistake that could be just a lark, if I wait long enough.
“Earth to Saoirse.” Maggie snaps her fingers. “We’re almost there.”
The skyline of Boston comes into view, and the car makes its way through traffic, winding towards the club through streets alive with Saturday nightlife. I feel a small pulse of excitement as we approach it, because I’ve never been in a nightclub at all, let alone a strip club. I stayed away from even most of the frat parties in college.
When we walk in, we’re instantly escorted to a roped-off VIP section of the club, where Angelica and a few of my other friends, along with Caterina and Sofia, are already waiting on the dark leather seating. There’s a long, low table in front of them with two bottles of Cristal already on ice and glasses set out, although Caterina and Sofia are nursing what looks like plain club soda.