Anger clouded her expression for a split second, but then her eyes flickered, and the gold was replaced by a shimmer of shame. Regina shifted uncomfortably and looked down. “Look, I’m sorry for that. It was out of line. You were a LaSalle, and I didn’t think we could trust you. Billy’s involvement could’ve landed the pack in deep shit, and I was afraid you’d turn on us because of everything that had happened to you.” She looked up at last and met my eyes. “I shouldn’t have threatened you like that. It was wrong. I was wrong.”
I’d been so traumatized at the cabin that I could barely think, horrified that Billy had been planning to execute my family, and then she’d dropped that bombshell on me.
“It was fucked up,” I snapped, surprised by the sob in my throat.
Silence stretched between us. Finally, she shuffled her feet and said, “I know. But I was scared and fucked up, too. You’d just…” Regina’s voice caught for a second, and when she spoke again, her voice was low and soft and sorrowful. “You’d just killed my best friend’s husband. And sure, he was a monster and a bastard, but I’d known him as a good man almost my whole life. He was all I had left of her.”
She looked away. A hairline fracture in that hard, hard exterior.
My stomach churned. Seeing Regina’s unbreakable façade crack a little was like cracking myself. I could smell her sorrow and practically feel the ache in her heart. I’d killed a monster, but that monster had been her family.
Billy had fucked up both our worlds.
I started to take a step toward her, but Regina tensed and snapped her head up, all signs of the fracture gone. “I was looking for someone to blame for everything falling apart—someone other than myself. For that, I’m sorry.”
I absently touched the unhealed wound on my shoulder and steeled my nerves. “And I’m sorry that I took someone that mattered to you. I didn’t want to kill anyone. I was running for my life, and things got out of control.”
She crossed her arms again, closing herself off like the gates of a castle, and raised her chin. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for the way I’ve treated you, and I can’t entirely forgive you for what happened.”
I started to open my mouth, but she held up a hand. “I know that’s unfair, but I have my own demons, and that’s the way it’ll be for a while. Still, you need to understand this: you’re not alone, not with us, not even when you’re off standing in the shadows. Regardless of how I feel, I’ll always fight to protect you, and so will the others.”
I swallowed, unsure of how to respond. “Okay.”
“And not because you matter to Jaxson or Sam. You’re part of this pack now because you earned it. You fought for us the way we’ll fight for you. We’re family now.”
I hung my head, not feeling strong enough to make eye contact without breaking down.
Jaxson and Sam had told me I was part of the pack before, but coming from Regina, someone who couldn’t quite let go of her anger and hatred, that was different.
And for the first time, I really understood the stakes. Yesterday, I’d lost so much. Casey. Aunt Laurel. Uncle Pete. The last of my family.
Could the pack really replace the thing I’d come to value more than anything I’d ever owned? Was this why Jaxson insisted I come? I wasn’t sure, but at least Regina was offering an olive branch.
“Thanks,” was all I could muster.
Regina gave an undecipherable huff. “For what it’s worth, none of us would have followed through with the threat. They’re called the Old Laws for a reason.”
“Well, they’re fucked-up laws,” I muttered bitterly.
“They are. Because they come from a fucked-up time. Our pack was almost hunted out of existence.” Her voice was hard and angry—though not with me.
Hunted out of existence?
A knot slowly formed in my stomach. Had that been my family’s doing? My grandfather Simon, and those who came before him? Dread coiled around my heart, and the darkness pressed in.
Biting my lip, I looked up out of the corner of my eye. “Was that here? In Magic Side?”
An inadvertent snarl twitched at the corner of her mouth. “No. It was before we came to the New World. Before Magic Side and all the trouble with your kin.”
“Oh.” Relief flooded me. The LaSalles had done a lot of messed-up shit, but at least not that.
Regina looked at her nails. “Our ancestors were from southern France. After generations of living side by side with humans, things started changing. Witch hunters and zealous priests whipped the local people into a terrified frenzy, and they turned on us. The Church paid for each wolf pelt they could bring in.”
She met my gaze. Suddenly, instead of the reflections of headlights glinting in her eyes, I saw flickering flames. Howling wolves hunted down and skinned alive.
Not just my imagination. Magic. Actual memories of horror. My stomach twisted. “You fled.”
“Not at first. We fought back. To survive, we had to become the monsters they’d been taught to fear. We abandoned the restrictions that had kept the peace and adopted new laws of reprisal—what we call the Old Laws now. If an outsider hurt a wolf, we killed them. If they killed a wolf, we made their family bleed three times over.”
Regina’s words were bitter, as if she’d witnessed each atrocity herself.
I dug my nails into my palm. “I’m gathering that the Old Laws didn’t work in the end.”
Her body trembled with anger, and she hid her hand behind her back as her claws erupted. I could smell her disgust. “Oh, the laws worked. The villagers who’d been our friends learned to live in fear, and the land became polluted with blood and hatred. In the end, the Church stopped sending priests. My family, the Laurent family, and the other families here all left the pack and sought a new life in the New World, but we’ve kept the Old Laws ever since. That way, we never forget that our first duty is always to protect the pack.”
The hatred in her eyes was fresh and raw and unforgiving. I studied the lines of her face. Had she witnessed all of that? She couldn’t be that old, could she? How long did werewolves live?
“You speak like it was yesterday…you weren’t there when it happened, were you?”
She snorted. “What are you implying? Do I look like an old hag?”
My face heated. “God, no. I just realized I don’t know how long werewolves live…”
Regina gave me a wry but reassuring smile. “Time comes for us all, just like most people. But we keep a living history. Our loremasters have powerful magic that helps us remember the past. When they tell a story, it’s almost like being there. We die, but the pack remembers. You’ll experience it tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“At the end of the run, the pack loremaster always tells a story. It’s…a magical experience. Remembering is part of who we are. Part of being wolves.”
An eerie howl suddenly cut through the air. The hair on my neck stood on end, and my body jerked forward involuntarily, like someone had just yanked on my shirt. Jaxson.
Regina moved slightly, too, called by the howl. “The run is going to start. Stay with the pack and follow Sam and Jaxson, and you’ll be all right. We’re all watching out for you.”
“Thanks.”
Regina turned to go.
“Hey, Regina?”
She paused and looked back over her shoulder.
I shrugged. “Perhaps it’s time for new laws.”
She looked me up and down. “I know, but it’s hard for us to let go. Sometimes, it still seems like the world is against us. I’m sure you know how that feels.”
Boy, did I ever.